To Catch a Falling Star
by Lucky Lynx
Summary: The first XMen FF I wrote my senior year of High School so keep that in mind if you choose to read. Wolverine and OC pairing... very romantic/idealistic.
1. Chapter 2

Logan's head throbbed from the flash of morning sunlight as he walked out of the mansion. Had to much damn whiskey last night. Three full bottles had never hurt him this bad before. Hell, he was probably going soft. That's what living at a school will do to a person. That and loosing someone you love.

Jean's face fluttered through his mind's eye. Her short red hair, that incredible smile. She had been everything a guy like him could want. But as a faint smile began to creep onto his face, Logan sorely remembered their conversation in the woods.

_Girls always flirt with the bad boy. But in the end, they bring home the good guy._

It had been eight months since that night and Logan could still see that dark wooden cove as clearly as if he were there. He had wanted Jean, that's for damn sure, but she had made her choice. Scott. After the fact, he'd been angry to say the least. Trained day and night, never leaving his room except to eat and piss off Scooter. But now the ache had dulled a bit, leaving Logan feeling empty and for the first time in his life... completely alone.

The sky was bright blue and the gardens always looked impeccable in early fall, the perfection mocking Logan as he slowly walked through the grounds. The air was crisp, a sign of colder weather to come and the aroma from the flowers weighed heavily on the breeze: roses mixed with daisies and... Female? Logan tilted his head back and inhaled deeply. There was a woman in the gardens. She was asleep and dreaming. And she had a cat.

Logan slowly moved through the stone and soil maze until he came upon the young girl. She had curled up on one of the small white benches, head on her hands, feet dangling off the other side, and the cat curled tightly against her stomach. Who in the hell was she? And why did she smell so damn good. It was obvious she was dirty, but still, Logan couldn't shake her sweet scent. Like wild strawberries and clean clothes out on the line.

"Damn." Logan swore, which in hindsight, might not have been the best move. The cat jerked awake suddenly and lunged straight for Logan's throat. "Damn it you beast, get the hell off of me!" The tiny cat scratched at his jugular, obviously going for the kill, except being all of two pounds, it really couldn't do much more than go for the annoyance.

"Catherine! Get your kitty ass back over here right now." The girl had sat up, her long dark hair flowing wildly down her shoulders. And as soon as the cat registered her command it leapt to the ground and raced over to her side, sitting as peaceful as a statue. The girl's bright green eyes dug deep into Logan. She was alone and afraid.

"Who in the hell are you?" Nice Logan, go for the pleasant greeting why doncha? "Look, I'm sorry, I just meant... Who in the hell are you?" Her laugh was rich and warm and it reached places in Logan that he had thought were long dead.

"My name is Rachel. A couple of goons chased me to your fence, so I hopped it and found this oh so comfy bench to sleep on." Her smiling facade fell away and worry etched across her soft face. "I hope that's ok."

"You hopped the fence?"

"Yes."

"The twelve foot, rot-iron fence? You just hopped right over it?" Logan couldn't believe what he was hearing!

"Yes! What's the big deal?" Rachel knew what the big deal was. Hopping a twelve foot fence wasn't something a human could do. It was something only a mutant could handle. A mutant like her.

"Ok, I think you need to come inside and see the Professor."

His hand reached out and grabbed her arm. Normally Rachel would have jerked away and started running, but the tiny sparks of electricity from his touch kept her still. Something about this man was different. She got the strangest feeling that they were connected and that he would never hurt her. She lifted her eyes and met his intent stare. And then before she knew it, she was following the large and quite nice looking man into the biggest house she had ever seen, with Miss Katie tight on her heels.

From the perfect view point of standing behind him, Rachel could see he was amazingly built! Tight arms and a wide back tapered into a solid waste and a butt that any girl would die to 

run her hand over. His dingy Levi's clung to every curve of that delectable tush, and by the time he stopped in front of a very large wooden door, she was practically drooling. She was also right up against him. Oops! In her extreme day dream, she had forgotten to stop.

"Um, sorry. I was... uh... distracted?"

His dark brown eyes warmed with a hint of amusement. "I bet you were." Dang! She had been caught! "Now if you can pull your eyes away from my ass for more than a second, there is someone in here I want you to meet."

Her cheeks flared red, and for a second Logan thought it was the cutest thing he had ever seen. What? The cutest what? He had to get a grip! This was some stray, with her very own attack cat! She wasn't cute, she was... scary! Logan ripped the door open and practically shoved her in, slamming the thick door behind them.

ch


	2. Chapter 3

"Good afternoon Logan. I can see you are in a fine mood this morning. Something on your mind?" Professor Xavier gave Logan a knowing look. Damned mind-reader!

"Found a stray. She camped out on the garden bench. Her name's..."

"Rachel, yes I know. I had been keeping an eye on her all morning. But thank you any way Logan." The Professor turned his attention to the girl gawking in front of him. "My name is Charles Xavier. And this is my school. A school for mutants much like yourself. And yes, before you ask, I know quite a lot about you, because you see... you are not the only one with gifts my girl."

"Oh, so you're some kind of psychic? Is that it?" Rachel asked.

_More or less_

Whoa! Hang on a tick! His lips hadn't moved when he said that! He was talking in her brain! The older man behind the desk just smiled, knowing that he had completely freaked her out.

"Ok, that was freaky. Could you please never do that again? I prefer to see your mouth move over the mind-meld thing. Way to late night vampire movie for me!"

"As you wish Rachel." Xavier said, moving his mouth and making sounds come out. Rachel instantly knew that he was a genuine good guy. "Logan, why don't you take our new guest over to the East wing? Have Scott take a look at her."

"Yea, ok Xavier." Great! A trip to the bat cave to see grumpy ass Scooter. Just what Logan wanted to do today. "Come on kid, let's go see Scott. I'm sure you'll just love him, all the girls do!"

_Is that a hint of jealousy I hear, Logan? _

_Buzz off, Charles! _

The unlikely pair exited the room, as warm laughter followed them out. Logan led the girl toward the east section of the mansion. Every so often he would steel a quick side-ways glance, only to find her looking off out the passing windows. She had beautiful brown hair, the entire mass falling in giant curls all around her arms. Her face was placid, like she had finally been able to relax. Well, Charles had a way of calming even the biggest beast. Logan inhaled slightly, catching a small dose of her intoxicating scent. Damn! He had to stop doing that! As soon as he got her to Scooters office, he was leaving and never crossing paths with her again. She touched too many places that Logan just couldn't deal with right then.

Two and a half hours later, Logan's legs began to fall asleep. He had been sitting on the floor outside the medical lab for way too long. After he had led the kid here, Logan had fully planned on sneaking away to the nearby garage for a little joy ride on the Ducati that Scott had just 

finished fixin' up. Instead that red-eyed freak had asked him to stick around in order to escort Rachel to her new room over in the South halls.

"She has eyes and working legs! Why the hell can't she find her own way?" Logan grumbled under his breath. But deep down inside, something sparked at the idea of seeing her again. "It's the whiskey. Gotta be still in my system." He knew it was a lie, but then again, Logan had always been a master of bullshitting.

Logan heard the door creek and lifted his head to see one very frightened girl. "What the hell did you do to her Scooter?"

"Excuse me Logan, but I did my job. I ran some tests, complied reports for the Professor and tested her abilities." Scott looked over at Rachel and gave her a quiet smile. "She's one tough girl, I will tell you that. Take her back to her room, and meet me and the team at the Professor's office so we can discuss everything."

"Yeah, ok, just get your hands off of her. I think you've done enough, Scooter!" Logan reached for Rachel's hand and she gladly accepted the gentle touch.

"Take care, Rachel, and if you need anything, do not hesitate to come find me. Ok?"

"Um... yes, ok. Will do." She said. Her hand tightened voluntarily and to her surprise, Logan squeezed back. The small contact was driving her crazy! She had just met this man not three hours ago, and already she felt there was something between them. Soul mates? No, she didn't believe in those anymore. She stopped believing in destiny and soul mates many years before, when her mother... no, this wasn't the time or place to think about that. So she lifted her head, looked deep into Logan's eyes and shut the door on her jagged past.

"Ok, let's get you settled in so I can go pow wow with the Cyborg back there."

"I heard that, Logan!" Scott yelled from the med lab.

"I intended you to, Scooter!"

Rachel and Logan walked in silence for a few minutes, their hands no longer pressed together. Rachel felt cold, and tired, but she was also curious about the silent man walking next to her. "So you and him don't get along much do you?"

"Scooter? Hardly." Logan said. Something passed over his face, just a brief glimpse of emotion... maybe remorse? Rachel was too exhausted to analyze it further.

"Scooter? I bet he hates that name."

"Yeah, bet he does." The lop-sided grin hit Rachel like a sucker punch to the gut. Logan wasn't just nice looking. He was beautiful. "Ok, here we are. 236, your new room." Logan leaned closer to the door, listening. Rachel closed her eyes and focused on the sounds coming from the room, 

and she instantly heard it too. Pop music. "And from the sounds of it, your new roommates are home."

"Great! Brittany Spears. Just my kind of music." Rachel groaned.

"Not a teeny Pop idol fan?"

"No, I'm more into the mellow sounds like Ella, Satchmo, and Norah."

"Jazz, huh? I like that in a girl." Logan paused, willing himself not to go any further. He had already let his emotions go unchecked, first with grabbing her hand and now this! What was wrong with him!? This girl made him say and do things that he would never normally let happen. He had to stop seeing her so much. Once a year... yeah that'll do. But as she walked past him into the room and shut the door, he felt a small tinge of regret at the thought of leaving her.

"Definantly the whiskey." Logan mused as he walked off towards the Professor's office.


	3. Chapter 4

"Um... Hi!" Rachel stood in on the other side of the door, nervous as hell, and wishing she could grab a hold of Logan's hand for support. She had always hated meeting new people. Everyone always thought she was a freak.

"Hello there! Are you a new teacher? Lost, huh? Yeah, that happens to then all. The teachers lounge is down in the commons area. To your left." A red-headed girl said from her perch on the top of a bunk bed.

"Dani, you idiot! That isn't a new teacher. That's the girl Scott called about not to long ago. Our new roommate!" This time it was a light colored brunette who spoke.

"Oh yeah! Scott!" The red-head, Dani, mused in a day dreamy sort of voice.

The other girl turned back towards Rachel and gave a big smile. "Hey! I'm Crystal and that's Dani. Don't worry about her, she is insanely retarded sometimes. Welcome to room 236, the best room in the entire girls dorm."

"Oh, well thanks. It's nice to meet you guys." Rachel said, looking all around, trying to take in the room. It had a pair of bunk beds in one corner and then a full sized bed in the other. The room was huge for a dorm! There was a full size dresser and mirror in between the beds and a closet on the same wall as the full sized bed. Rachel turned to look behind her. There on the wall opposite the beds, was a 10x5 foot out-cove, lined with a large, modern looking wrap around desk and three computers each with a chair in front. "Wow."

"Yeah, I know right? Big ass room for a dorm! What can I say, we're spoiled." Dani said, still up on the top bunk. She picked up a Diet Pepsi from the built in cup holder and took a sip. Spoiled, hell these girls were downright princess-ed!

"The laptop in the middle is mine. The blue one is Dani's and the green one... well, now it's yours. They all came with the room. This school is big on studying, let me tell ya!" Crystal came to stand beside Rachel. Crystal was taller and had the prettiest color hair Rachel had ever seen. Each strand seemed to sparkle, like it caught every stray shimmer of light in the room.

"Oh, yea, my hair. Well, it kind of comes with my powers. I can manipulate water and ice, so my body is conditioned for extreme cold. My hair's way of keeping healthy in the cold is to build a layer of this extra thin glass-like substance to keep out the frigid air. At least that what Scott told me any way when I got here." Crystal paused as Dani let out a sigh. "The love-bird over there just calls is extra-shiny."

"Well, it's lovely." Rachel said.

"Lovely? And you wondered why I thought she was a teacher Crystal! She's all sophisticated and plus she looks like she's 24. Isn't that right... wait, what's your name? I think you might have forgotten that part!" Dani giggled thinking she was just hilariously funny.

"Oh, I'm Rachel."

"It's lovely to meet you Rachel" Dani said mockingly as Crystal gave her a death glare. "What, I'm only playing! It's nice to have another girl around besides you Mrs. Mom!"

"Yes, Dani and I are lucky to have such a cool roommate." Crystal turned back around and sat down on the bottom bunk bed. "That bed over there is yours. Dani always like sleeping on the top bunk, and this bottom one is almost just as big, so we just left the other bed for whoever got to be our roomie. And that's you. So there you go!"

"Oh really? Thanks!" Rachel said gratefully. She had never had a big bed before. It was usually just a corner of a bench or what ever door stoop she could find that was empty.

"So what are your powers?"

"DANI! Don't be so rude. Let her get settled. Then she can tell us all the juicy details." Crystal smiled as Rachel's stomach flip-flopped. Great! Now she had to talk about the one thing she never, ever let anyone know in on... herself.


	4. Chapter 5

"Well, Professor, the girl is clearly older than the normal students. Based on her dental X-Rays and the aging of her facial features, I would say she is around 25 or 26 years old, give or take a few years." Scott stood in the middle of the room, with the other X-Men around him, and Logan sulking in the corner.

"Can she not just tell you how old she is?" Storm asked.

"No, she says she can't remember anything past 7 years ago. She said she just woke up one day in an alley." Scott reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out something metallic. "And this was all she had to go by."

Logan suddenly stalked forward and snatched the chain out of Scott's hands. "These are dog tags, Scott."

"Thanks Logan, none of us could see that."

"Dog tags like mine, dammit! It must have been Stryker, Charles!" Logan yelled turning toward the man in the wheel chair. "They took her and experimented on her! They turned that innocent girl into a monster." Logan lowered his voice, dropping his head towards the ground. "A monster just like me."

"Logan, I promise we will find out as much as we can. But for right now, let Scott finish discussing what he found. We have to learn about her before we can help her right?" Logan slowly walked over to a chair and landed in it with a thud. "Ok, good then. Scott, continue." The Professor said turning his attention back to Scott.

_You are close to her Logan. Closer than any of us. You two have a past, a bond. I am assigning you to her. Learn about her; talk to her, train her. Maybe you will find some answers in the process. _

The room seemed heavy as Scott rambled on. Logan turned away, not wanting to answer the Professor. They had a connection. She had been through the same hell as he had. And suddenly Logan wished Stryker was alive... so he could rip him to pieces.

"I decided not to do a full body scan, but I did conduct strength and reflex tests and her results were off the chart. Her brain scan indicated that she has advanced levels of brain activity which means she is a low level psychic. I asked her if she had ever been able to read minds, but she said no. It may not present it self until later on in her life, but the ability is there. Also I took a blood and skin sample. She has regenerative properties to both, which I assume we already knew by the presence of dog tags." Scott glanced at Logan's tags which hung loosely around his neck. Logan glared and tucked them into his shirt. "But strangely enough, her blood and skin also have metamorphic tendencies. I didn't question her about it, because she may not know it yet, but I think with enough work, she could shape-shift. From a general view, it looks to be closely related to animal blood. Once I examine the DNA further I can give you specific species, but right now, I think she would shift into something in the cat family."

Logan tuned out the rest of the meeting, trying to process all the information Scott had come up with. Regenerative, metamorphic and a touch of psychic powers? Damn this girl had it all. Logan thought about the shape-shifting. Cats, huh? Oddly specific. And then he remembered something. Earlier when he found her on the bench, and her cat attacked him, all she had to do was give it one general command and it calmed down immediately. Most cats would have ignored their owners! Hell any animal on the planet wasn't that well trained. Psychic... cats... there was a tie there somewhere.

"Charles!"

"Yes, Logan?" Xavier quirked an eyebrow as Scott fumed over the interruption. "Care to join the discussion again?"

"Not really... but I had a thought."

"Someone take note of that, since it doesn't happen often."

"That's quite enough Scott. Let Logan have the floor now." The Professor said in a stern voice. Scott didn't dare argue so instead he sat gently on the couch next to Storm.

"She has this cat. And earlier it attacked me, yet when she called its name it immediately jumped down and sat directly at her side. I think Scott was right about the psychic powers, but I don't think they will develop later. I think she has them now. With cats. I think that might be part of her natural mutation. She is sort of like, I don't know... Catwoman, I guess?" Logan finished as Scott chuckled in the corner.

"Catwoman, Logan? Catwoman is fictional. I know you don't have a wide selection of books but maybe if you read..."

"I think you are absolutely right, Logan. Good work." Scott fell silent as the Professor continued, not caring that he interrupted. "Ok, we are done for now team. We will enroll her immediately in classes and her training will begin tomorrow evening. Have a good night everyone." Storm, Scott, Kurt, Rogue, Bobby and Hank began to exit the office as Logan waited behind them all. "Oh, and Logan?'

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you check in on her, just to see how she is adjusting?"

"You really know how to spoil my nights don't you, Charles?"

_Or maybe it's just that I know what you really want, Logan. _

_Get out of my head, Charles! _

_Have a nice visit. _

"Goodnight Xavier!" Logan hollered from outside the closed door. Damn that meddling psychic! Logan just wanted to go to his room, not see his new trainee. He wanted to sink into his big bed and roll over and see Rachel there and... "Ah, hell! Thanks Charles!!" Logan growled trying desperately to get the vision out of his head, and calm himself and other parts of him down.

_Anytime Logan. _


	5. Chapter 6

"And she didn't even have a towel!!" All three girls burst into fits of laughter. Rachel couldn't believe it! In less than 6 hours she had found a home, friends who were a blast and...

"Hey Kid! Come on out here! The Professor sent me to check on you."

... A beautiful man who, wait a second!! "I am not a kid!"

"Yea Professor Logan, she's like in her 20's! She is way old!"

"Thanks Dani! Not really helping though!" Rachel shot up, whipped open the door and came face to chest with the sexiest man she had ever seen in her 20 something years on the earth. He was dressed in those infamous Levis and an impeccably white wife-beater with a days worth of stubble darkening his chin and cheek bones. Rachel tried to speak but nothing came to mind except Logan without so many fussy layers of clothes.

"So what is this I hear about a towel?"

"Nothing, just girl talk. Dani is in love with Scooter."

"Don't fucking call him THAT!" Dani screamed throwing a pillow against the back of the door.

Logan's laugh was full and rich and it made Rachel smile. His eyes were warm and whiskey-colored and his hair was messy from frustrating hands sifting through it all day. "I see you take after me, huh kid?"

"Yeah I guess." Ugh! There was that kid word again! When would he see her as the woman she really was?

"So... Scott told us all about you. Your powers, your gifts... your past." Logan reached into his jean pocket and pulled out her dog tags. "Do you know why you have these tags?"

"I have dreams sometimes. Men cutting me, changing me. I figure that's where those came from. I really can't remember anything else. I am just glad they had a name on them, or I would have had to pick my own... and I might have picked Gertrude or something not very attractive." Her quirky smile only brought pain to Logan. She hadn't even known her name.

"I woke up about 10 years ago, scared and running for my life. They named me Wolverine." His hand reached up to his neck and pulled out a set of dog tags almost identical to hers. "I know what they did to you, because they did it to me. That and more." And with one fluid motion, long metallic claws extended out from his knuckles. "That's not all. The metal, Adamantium, runs along every bone in my body. I only survived because, like you, I have natural healing powers. Those are part of my natural mutation." Logan dropped his head, shame filling his dark eyes. "The rest of me was engineered."

"You aren't the only one, Logan." Rachel lifted his chin up with her hand and then made a fist. With a natural movement she had come to know, her own set of claws extended from her 

knuckles. Three of them. Just like Logan had. "See, you aren't so special. The only difference is mine are only about six inches, and they are an Adamantium mixture. They have platinum and gold added in. That's why they have that slight golden shine to them."

"And your skeletal system?"

"Most likely lined with the same metal. I have never been formally tested but I can fall five stories and never feel a thing."

"Damn. I always thought I was the only one out there."

"Nope. You Mr. Wolverine are no longer alone." Rachel dropped her serious tone and backed a step away from Logan before her hormones got the best of her. "But how come you get a cool name like Wolverine and all I have is Rachel."

"Oh, so you want an X-Men name, huh?" His face had lightened, the playful tone returning to his voice.

"Yeah, those X-men. Dani and Crystal told me about them. Said they were all bad-ass with their nifty nicknames and tight leather outfits. Of course Dani noticed just how tight Scott's is. But me..." Rachel gave in to the slut screaming within and took a brazen step forward, resting her hand square on his chest. "I would rather see _your_ delectable ass in tight leather... but again, that's just me." She gave him a wink and just as he bent forward in what looked to be a kiss, Rachel slipped out of his reach and rested against the door. "See, told you I'm not a kid."

"No, just a tease."

"Yes, I'm a wanton hussy... deal with it." Logan's gaze burned deep into her and Rachel decided to drop the subject and fast before they wound up playing' bucking bronco right there in the hall. "So how 'bout that X-name? Any ideas?"

"Lynx. Fit's your feline tendency wouldn't you say? I figured out where your physic abilities lie. You can communicate with cats, can't you?"

"Well, I have always had a special bond with cats. I just kinda understand them, you know? So yes, I guess you're right." Rachel paused, tossing the name back and forth in her mind. "Ok, Lynx it is."

"Well Lynx, I came here to tell you that I have been assigned as your trainer. Every student has one, and since we are so closely related in abilities, Xavier put you with me. Starts tomorrow night. My room at nine. Here's the key." He slid a tiny silver key into her front pants pocket.

"Does every student train in their teacher's bedroom?" Wow. Ok. That statement hadn't originally sounded so sex starved, but Logan brought out the beast in her, and Rachel could hardly think with his hand resting on the outer rim of her pocket.

"It's not just my bedroom. I have a training room attached to it, specially designed for me. And since we are twins, it is now specially designed for you as well." Logan said matter-of-factly. "Now scurry back to your girl talk. I know you'll have some good things to tell them about me and my... what was it... delectable ass? Have fun, kid." He mocked, adding a wink in for good measure.

And with that he removed his hand and sauntered down the hall. What a sorry little son-of-a "Crystal!! I need chocolate!" He rounded the corner as she huffed back into the room and slammed the door. But even then, she could still hear him laughing.

The clock read four by the time Logan finally gave up and started to roam the halls. He couldn't get that damn girl out of his mind. The way she teased him and those big green eyes of hers. She haunted his mind and chased away any hopes of sleep. The playful banter was getting to him, and he hadn't even known her a day. But there was something about her. He didn't need to know her to want her. It just came naturally. Tomorrow's training session was going to be a test of his will power. How long could he go with out pinning her down for real? Yes, tomorrow would be very interesting, to say the least.

At the same time Logan was prowling the halls, another, less conspicuous visitor was entering Xavier's school for the gifted. Armed with video cameras, surveillance tapes, and tiny microphones, this visitor was prepared to carry out his mission. Get information on the mutant, by any means necessary.


	6. Chapter 7

Xavier's School for the Gifted stood peacefully atop the rolling hills of Westchester as the sun set on yet another wonderful day. The sky was just turning black as the campus settled into a silent retreat. Most of the campus that is. Around the corner in the South Hall dorms, chaos ensued.

"He said NINE, Rachel! You are so gonna be late!" Crystal shouted from outside the closet door. Rachel had locked herself in two hours before, and they hadn't seen her since. "Come on; just throw on some Soffes and go!"

"We really need to go shopping, sometime, for my own clothes. Although I have absolutely no money." Rachel reached for the handle of the door, and stepped out into the room. "I could pay with my good looks, maybe?"

"Um... I would say a big 'Hell Yeah' to that one!" Dani exclaimed.

Rachel had finally decided on a pair of Dani's jeans (the ones that she called her 'Sexy Drawers') and a black tee shirt of Crystal's. She was considerably lucky that all three of them were around the same size, or she would be going naked. This, in the long run, might not be so bad, since that is how she had pictured Logan all day through class. Rachel had given up concentrating about five minutes into her morning class with Professor Summers. By the end of the day, she had tuned out Professor Monroe, Professor McCoy and almost everything Crystal and Dani had said that didn't pertain to Logan. She was completely head over heals for the big lug!

"HELLO! Earth to Rachel! Crystal just said she could get money from her dad to go shopping for clothes! For future reference, never turn down free money."

"Oh, I'm so sorry guys." She turned to Crystal and gave her an awkward hug. "Thank you so much. You guys really are the best."

"No big! I can always help out my friends."

"Ok, you two saps! Rachel needs to get her sexy ass over to Logan's so they can get to the horizontal mambo-ing!"

"Dani!" Crystal shouted.

"Horizontal mambo-ing?" Rachel thought about it for a moment and then finally received the mental image... and it wasn't too terrible at all! "Oh you mean ridin' the bronco! I gotcha!"

"Bronco? Hmm... Seems sexier that way." Crystal contemplated her own image as Dani pushed Rachel to the door.

"Ok, go get your steer... or bronco or whatever the fuck it is! Just fill us in when you get back!" Dani went to close the door, and then snatched it back open again. "And remember, Logan is a bad boy, so spanking may be required!"

And with that, Rachel was left all alone with just a few halls between her and the sexiest man on the planet. And she had his key. To his private room. Hell, what was she waiting for!?

Rachel headed off towards the faculty rooms in a dead sprint. It was usually a ten minute walk at least, but she managed to be in front of Logan's door in three. The hall was completely empty. The air was thick and heady making it hard for Rachel to catch her breath. It was as if no one dared to interrupt what was about to happen. Like this night was sacred. And as Rachel reached into her pocket and pulled out Logan's key, she began to believe in destiny.

"Logan? Are you in here?" Rachel stepped inside the dimly lit room and closed the door behind her. A fire crackled in the corner of the room providing the only source of light. It took her eyes a moment to adjust, but once they did, she stood frozen in place, gawking at the room spread out before her.

The room was spacious to say the least. A large fire place and sitting area were set in the back corner of the room. The marble tiles around the mantle were a rich cream color that accented the deep mahogany floor. The chairs were covered in burgundy suede and a crystal ash tray sat on the side table, a silver cigar cutter gleaming from the inside the dish. Rachel turned her sights to the beast of a bed that dominated the large space. The bed sat high off the ground on a four-poster support made of the same mahogany as the floor. Each poster was elegantly carved in simple spiraling patterns. The bed spread was burgundy with cream trim and accent pillows. The room was purely Logan. Smooth colors, solid wood, and a warm, raging fire.

Rachel could imagine him sitting in one of the large wing back chairs, starring at the flames as he contemplated his day. And the white fur rug in front of the fireplace brought more sensual images to her mind. Logan spread out, the warm light glowing in his eyes, his wide chest bare and open for discovery, his jeans slung loosely around those delightful hips, and a full bottle of Chablis on the mantle for drinking and other tasty act...

"Kid?"

"Shit! Logan you scared the crap outta me! You can't just go sneaking up on people like that!" Rachel yelled as her heart desperately tried to start beating again.

"I called out three times for you. I hardly consider that sneaking up." Logan mused. He tilted his head, a mischievous grin sliding across his face. Uh oh, she had been caught. "What were you doing any way?"

"Oh, nothing. Just admiring the fireplace, that's all." Rachel said weakly.

"The hell you were."

"Whatever Logan, we need to go train. That's what I came here to do right?" Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! She was five feet from Logan's bed and Rachel wanted to train!? What kind of idiot was she? Logan didn't answer. Instead he took a few steps toward her, his eyes locked onto hers. "Logan?"

His hand reached out, his body leaned into hers and Rachel closed her eyes, waiting for the kiss she knew was coming. His hand brushed by the side of her head... and went right past her! "Logan? What are you doing?"

"Grabbing a cigar from my humidor." He wiggled the Cuban in front of her. "What did you think I was doing? You got all puckered up like you thought I was gonna kiss you."

"Oh, not even!" Rachel stormed past him, heading for the open archway on the other side of the room.

"Alright, Kid, whatever you say." He said, smacking her butt as he passed by her. Logan knew desire when he saw it. She had practically melted when he came towards her. Just as he intended her too. She had teased him earlier, and now it was time for pay back. He just hoped he could keep a tight leash on his lust or things could go way beyond teasing.

"And you said I'm a tease!"

"Yeah, well. It's time you learned your lesson."

'Two can play that game,' Rachel thought as she followed Logan into the training room. He was right; this wasn't just any old work out room. This was a training dream come true. Each wall was lined with two layers of padded mats, as was the ceiling and floor. A set of pull-up bars took up residence on the wall of one corner of the room, and opposite them in the other corner was the largest punching bag Rachel had ever seen. Ropes of various shapes and sizes hung from the ceiling along with steel beams that stretched across the entire expanse of the room. And finally, sitting all around the main area of the room, were steal plated boxes, discs, pipes and chains. The room was defiantly battle ready.

"Impressed, huh?"

"Well, yeah! Logan, this is incredible!"

"You ain't seen nothin' yet kid." Logan clapped twice and the lights snapped off, and a door slid shut over the entrance. Then, bright flashes of light began to spring to life around the room, like indoor lightning, making it even harder to see clearly. "Now you have to use your senses. You can't see, you have to feel." A hand brushed over her lower back, making her jump.

"Logan, I don't think I can..." Suddenly a large black mass came hurdling towards her, striking her directly in the chest and throwing back against the padded wall. Rachel began to protest but saw another black object coming toward her. She unsheathed her claws and jumped into a round-house kick in the knick of time. The object went soaring into the opposite wall with a loud crash.

"Nice moves, kid."

"I am not a kid, Logan!"

"We'll see about that."

He lunged forward out of the darkness, coming straight at Rachel, claws extended in deadly accuracy. Instinct automatically kicked in as she used his momentum to send him flying over her head. She spun on her heals, her foot landing square in his gut. They stood there for a moment, battle-ready, circling one another. The air was thick and tension was high. Then Rachel slashed forward, punching and cutting with deadly precision. Logan met her every advance. The distinct clang of metal rang through the room as they matched each move the other made, claw for claw. Sparks began to fly wildly as they increased the speed of attack, the friction causing the Adamantium to heat up quickly. And just a fast as the attacks began, they all but ceased as Rachel missed a step and Logan's claws connected with her thigh.

Rachel fell immediately, the pain intense through out her body. Logan clapped and the lights came surging back to life, and then he was right there beside her, his hands running over her body trying to find the wound. When his hands touched blood, he went still, his eyes wide and his face ghostly pale.

"Rachel... I..."

"Hey, it's ok. Look." Set sat up and picked up his hand in hers. The fabric of her jeans was shredded revealing the now healed skin underneath. "See, I'm fine." Seconds ticked by but Logan just sat there, unflinching, starring down at her leg as if it were mangled beyond repair. "Hey, look at me." She placed her hand under his chin and lifted his face until his eyes met hers. "I am fine."

"Rachel... I really didn't... I mean... Aw hell." Logan surged forward, grabbing her behind the head, his lips crashing down on to hers. His mouth was hot and demanding as his tongue ruthlessly captured hers. She moaned in protest, but that only fueled his hunger. He pulled her onto his lap trying to get closer still, shoving their bodies together in a perfect fit. She could feel his chest heaving for air, his rock hard stomach and the thrusts of his pelvis, perfectly in rhythm with his lips. And just as Rachel thought she might pass out from the intensity, Logan pulled away, his eyes hot with lust.

"You scared the shit out of me, kid. I thought I had really hurt you." He ran the back of his hand down her cheek, relishing in the softness of her skin. "I will never let anything happen to you. I promise."

"I know, Logan, I know."

Something flashed across Logan's face at the sound of his name. He immediately reeled back, releasing his hold on her. What the hell was going on?

"Logan?"

"No, just don't say it." He ran a shaking hand through his hair as she stood up and came toward him. But the second he realized she was coming closer he turned away, stalked back into the bedroom and yanked open the door. "Lesson's over. Go back to your room, kid."

"But Logan, I don't understand! We were just kissing and..."

"Just GO!" He yelled making Rachel jump. Her eyes were wide and she looked like she was ready to burst into tears. Hell, he didn't want to make her cry, but he had to get her out of his room before he let something happen that he knew she would regret. "Look, just go to bed, ok? Get some sleep and let that leg heal. You'll have one hell of a bruise tomorrow."

She moved slowly out into the hall, trance like, and as Logan let the door come to a close, he heard an almost silent sob. Shit! Now he had _really_ hurt her!

Rachel stood on the other side of the door, a lump forming in her throat, her heart pounding in her chest. What had just happened? First they were kissing and then he just threw her out like... like... an unwanted whore.

A distant memory flashed in Rachel's mind. It was dark, the streets were wet with grime, and a younger version of her sat shivering in the corner behind a dripping cardboard box. She was all alone, and deathly afraid. Then from around the corner came the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Long brown hair spilled out from a high ponytail and the tight mini skirt she wore hugged the most gorgeous figure a woman could have. Her skin was pale and soft, and her smile made Rachel's heart swell. But before the woman could reach her, a dark man ran around the corner, grabbing her arm and yanking her down to the ground. And it was from that hidden spot that Rachel watched that ugly man beat that woman to death. He yelled things about money and unsatisfaction as his hands struck her frail, lifeless body. That woman had been a prostitute. And he was an unhappy customer. Then that night floated away, as Rachel reached the end of the one memory from her childhood.

An overwhelming grief tore through Rachel's body and she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small photograph. The edges were tearing and the quality had faded over many years, but the woman in the picture was clearly visible. Her long brown hair and pale skin was still as beautiful as it was in Rachel's mind. This was the prostitute. Rachel turned the picture over in her hand and re-read the message for what had to have been the thousandth time in her long seven years.

To my sweet Rachel,

Life has never been good to me, but I know

That if you put your mind to it, you can change

the world. Be brave little girl! Reach for the things I

never had... a warm bed, a loving family, a kiss under

fresh mistletoe, and a man who will love you until the end of time.

If you try Rachel, you can reach the stars!

I will see you again, my little angel.

Love,

Catherine aka Mom

"I reached for the stars, Momma." A small tear traveled down her cheek as she looked back at Logan's door. "And I was so blind; I couldn't see that I was falling."

Rachel placed the photograph back into her pocket, savoring the sweet words from a woman she couldn't, for the life of her, ever remember knowing. The halls were quiet as Rachel began to walk back to her dorm room, holding the frail remnants of her pride. Well, if Logan didn't want her, then she would move on, find a better man out there for her. But as her mind nodded in agreement, her heart gave a shuddered sigh. There would never be anyone better than Logan.

A tiny red light blinked from high above the hall. The shiny black lens followed the young girl as she walked away from the mutant's door. Thousands of wires and plastic pieces transmitted the image to a location not to far away. The time was coming. Soon, everything would be ready.

The fire in the corner of the room had long since died, leaving a few smoldering ashes in its place. The moon was waning, slowly growing weaker as the sun made its way to the horizon. Logan hadn't moved since she's left. He sat against the door, nearly empty flask in hand, trying to drown his confused emotions beneath endless waves of rum. What had he done? They had been training and then he stabbed her, but she had been fine, so why did it scare him so much? Why had he kissed her? Out of fear, loneliness or... no it couldn't have been anything thing else. It must have been battle-lust. Yeah, that made enough sense to his rum-filled brain. Battle-lust. So the battle had been done now for about 6 hours... why hadn't his lust died? Logan looked across the bedroom at his training area, remembering how it felt to have Rachel on top of him, the feel of her mouth on his. She had tasted so sweet just like he knew she would. Like strawberries on his tongue. And all he could think of was how the rest of her body tasted.

"Damn it, Logan, she's just some kid. Get a fuckin' grip!" He yelled to himself and the dark expanse of his room. He had to stop seeing her! Logan downed the rest of the rum, feeling the normally scorching liquid flow numbly down his throat. He could never have her. Rachel was young and needed a man who could love her and care for her, not some animal who reminded her of the hell in her past. Come tomorrow, he would put his plan into action. Logan wouldn't speak to her, or touch her or even see her unless they were training, which he would make sure was in the gymnasium where all the other sparring lessons took place. If he cut her out of his life, maybe he could go back to the hard, callus man he use to be. As his eyes drifted shut into an alcohol induced slumber, a part of Logan's heart slipped away into the confines of his deeply troubled body. The part that secretly belonged to Rachel.


	7. Chapter 8

Two weeks passed by and found Westchester, New York at the very start of a long winter. The sky had been grey and heavy for days, the snow weighing down on the clouds. Scott knew it would break soon. Jean use to love the snow. But he would never again see the joy on her face as she watched the first flake fall slowly to the ground. She always loved to snuggle on their couch and gently say his name.

"Scott."

He turned around, a part of him expecting to see Jean. Instead he saw one of his students... Dani, maybe? Her fiery red hair hung loose over one shoulder, only a few shades lighter than Jeans. Her eyes were bright purple, a sign of her unique mutation. She was pretty to say the least, dressed in a purple tank top and jeans that fit every curve of her body.

"Scott?"

He shook his head, relieving his mind of far away thoughts, bringing the present back into focus. "Hi, Dani... what did you need?"

"You." The truth seemed a much more appealing option. Scott looked so good that Dani didn't think she had the power to lie to him. She wanted Scott, any way she could get.

"Me? For what?" He stammered.

"I would like you to be my trainer."

"But aren't you already working with Kurt?" His eye brow shot up over the rim of his dark sun glasses, and Dani thought for sure she had forgotten how to breathe.

"Yes, but Kurt and I are experiencing some differences of opinions in our training regiment. I want to learn more battle ready techniques and he is all with 'inner strength' stuff." Dani walked forward, resting her hip on the corner of his large, wooden desk. The way his shirt stretched across what she knew would be the tightest abs in all of New York was making her mouth water. How did one man become so sex-able? "So do you think you could teach me, Professor?"

"I'm sure I could teach you many things." Scott said in a husky voice. Wait a minute? Was he flirting? With a someone other than Jean? He took a step away from the beautiful red-head, pulling at his collar, because suddenly it was very hot in the room. "But no, I can not put you on my training schedule... I am all booked for this semester." The look of disappointment on her face hit him square in the heart. She was so bright and cute, and now Scott felt like the big bad wolf trying to blow down her house.

"Oh well, that's ok, Professor Scott. Maybe next term." Dani turned to walk out trying to escape before the tears began to flow.

Just as she reached the door a strong hand found the curve of her shoulder, the searing heat from the touch stopping her dead in her tracks. The hand gently pulled her around and she was face to face with the drop-dead sexiest man on the eastern seaboard. "Yes?"

"If you would like, I can help you with your studies. I hear Miss Monroe is teaching Moby Dick and since it was one of the slowest books I have ever read, I would be more than happy to assist you." Scott looked deep into those purple eyes knowing just how many people stare at unique colored irises.

A laugh erupted from with in Dani and Scott arched his eye brow once more. It took her a minute to compose herself enough to talk. "Moby Dick. Just kind of funny if you ask me."

And for the first time in since Jean died, Scott felt a smile stretch across his face. This girl was very interesting... and he kind of liked it.

A few hours later all but one room in the South hall were quiet. The generous laughter from room 236 could be heard across the campus.

"He actually said the words Moby Dick?" Rachel couldn't believe it! Those two words were like teacher fo-pa!

"Yes. And then he smiled! And I swear, girls, I could have died right then and there a very happy woman!" Dani swooned, reliving that smile over and over again in her mind. "Oh, Scott!"

"I still can't believe he offered to help you! I wish someone would read me Moby Dick!" Rachel and Dani both busted into fits of laughter. "No, not in the dirty way, you pervert!" Crystal said, trying to shut the two idiots up before someone heard them. "If you two don't stop, some one is gonna come in here and... and... I don't know, call the police or something!"

Dani glanced over at Rachel who was starting to giggle again. Then Dani turned back to Crystal, holding her hand up like a telephone and said in a mocking voice, "Yes, hello officer. I would like to report two girls in the room next to me for the misuse of the words Moby Dick. Thank you very much!"

"Fine, make fun of me! I will just go ahead and go to training. Colossus wanted me there at 8: 30 for a longer session." Crystal looked at her watch and then sat silently awaiting the smart ass comment to come.

"Fifteen minutes early huh? I think someone has a thing for their trainer!" Dani shouted, making Crystal blush.

"Who's her trainer?" Rachel asked, completely out of the loop.

"Peter Nicholas or aka Colossus. He is big and strong and Crystal practically swoons when he walks by." Dani made a dramatic gesture of swooning with her hand like an old time southern belle.

"Well at least I don't shamelessly through my self at older men with the nickname Scooter!"

"Hey now, that's just _Logan's_ name for him... the bastard!"

"He is not a bastard, Dani! Scott treats him like _shit_ most days! Most of the time Logan is just playing... but Scott always aims below the belt! So just leave Logan out of this ok?" Rachel fumed, halting the playful banter with her sour attitude. She reached out and placed a hand on Dani's leg. "Look, I'm sorry Dani. I didn't mean it. It's just that Logan has been ignoring me and the only time he talks to me is in training and that's only about battle stance and posture! It's like my kiss completely turned him off, where as I was burning for days from his touch."

"Hey, he'll come too eventually, I promise! He just needs to be smacked around a little... or maybe you should talk about Moby Dick. It worked for me!" Dani gave a big grin which made Rachel smile. She had such good friends. Dani turned her attention back to Crystal who was packing up her duffel bag. "So, we all know you like the hunky Peter. Just admit it and tell us what you're going to do about it!"

"Nothing. Let's drop it. So, are you even going to session tonight, Dani? Kurt really isn't that bad you know. You guys have almost the same mutations!"

"What mutations?"

"We are both teleporters. We can go to any place we want and I am also working on teleporting objects from other places to where ever I am... but I really don't see why Scott can't teach me that!" Dani yelled, glaring at Crystal who began to laugh. "It's not funny!"

"No, of course not! Scott is so magnificent, he could teach any mutation he so desired!" Crystal mocked. Dani shot up, ready with a come back but Rachel yanked her back down, changing the topic quickly.

"So, show me how your powers work. Teleport something. Like a piece of cake from the kitchen!"

"Ok, fine. But I know you only want to see this so Crystal and I don't kill each other."

"Can't I just genuinely be hungry?"

"No." The room fell silent as Dani's eyes fluttered closed. She lifted her hands and with immense concentration written on her face, snapped her fingers, bringing about a big cloud of purple smoke. As the smoke cleared a distinct shape came to form. And it wasn't cake shaped either. "Well... did I get cake?" She asked, her eyes still closed.

"No, not quite." Rachel leaned forward and inspected the 10-gallon sized container. "You got icing. A whole lot of icing."

"Damn! The Professor is going to kill me slowly with a lecture when he finds out that I teleported the schools entire supply of icing!"

"No, he won't! He's out of town, retard, with Storm and Kurt! They went to Washington, remember?! I can't believe you only got the icing! See what training with Kurt could achieve. In a few weeks, you could maybe get the batter as well!" Crystal began to laugh again, sending Dani into a rage!

"At least I am not so head over heals for my trainer that I nearly faint in session!"

"I do NOT LIKE PETER!" Crystal yelled just as someone knocked at the door behind her. She turned around, fuming, and reached for the knob.

"Wouldn't it be funny if it was...?"

The door pulled open and there stood a very handsome man dressed in loose fitting blue sweat pants and a glorious bare chest lightly dusted with fine golden hair.

"Oh, hey there Colossus!" Dani said sweetly as she turned and gave Rachel a big 'Oh Shit' face.

"Hi, Dani." The tall, broad and sexy man nodded and Rachel almost melted. Dani was right; this guy was hunky with a capital "H". "What was that about not liking Peter?"

"Different Peter... from out of state... in California... which would be out of state, and obviously not you." Dani tried to backtrack, but realized it wasn't working. She clamped her mouth down and looked helplessly at Rachel.

"Oh, I see." He turned his attention to Rachel. Her insides melted with one look from those baby blues. "And who are you? From California as well?"

"I'm Rachel. And no, not from California."

"Oh yes, Rachel. I have heard of you." He gave a heartbreaking smile. He knew something... something very important. Rachel could see it in his eyes. This giant gob of male had a secret.

"Why the sly face, Colossus? Care to share?" Rachel asked as she got up and stepped towards the mutant.

"Just heard about you that's all... from Wolverine."

"What did you hear!?" Rachel shouted, scaring herself and the rest of the Western Hemisphere. "Sorry, I just don't like ugly rumors, you know?"

"These weren't ugly. He said you were new, fast, and strong as hell. I believe those were his exact words." Colossus winked, but his charm didn't east Rachel's pain. Fast and strong? She 

sounded more like a horse than a girl. Well, whatever! She didn't care, nope, not even a little. Except only she did, a lot!

"Anyway, I didn't come here to talk about Logan; I came here to give something to Crystal, if you two lovely ladies don't mind?"

The girls slowly shook their heads in unison.

"Give me something? Something for training?" Crystal stammered. Her heart was beating so fast it was about to pop out of her chest! And how gross would that be? She glanced down just to make sure that her white tank top was pop free. Sadly yes, it was, in _all _departments. Damn, she should have been blessed with the boob gene instead of the mutant gene!

"No, this is something else." He pulled his left hand out from behind his back, and with it came a small 8x10 canvas. "I am somewhat of an artist and after our last session I went to my room, picked up my brush, and this is what came out. You inspire me, Crystal, to do great things. I figured you deserved to hang the painting by your bedside, and when you look at it, hopefully my brush strokes will inspire you as well."

Crystal gently took the canvas into her shaking hands. It was magnificent! A vast ocean lay stretched beneath a setting sun, and each bold stroke spoke to her in ways nothing had ever in the past. The dunes that sat off along the side were filled with cat tails, her favorite! The picture whispered of passions long gone, and of romances that would never die. It was priceless!

"Oh Colossus! It's wonderful!" Crystal exclaimed, still staring at the painting.

A large hand reached out and gently lifted Crystal's chin, until her eyes were locked on to his. "You can call me Peter."

"Ok, Peter." His eyes were so deep that Crystal could see straight to his soul. He was amazing. "Thank you very much. It's lovely. You are too sweet."

"No, just inspired by man's best muse... a beautiful woman." With that, he gave a small stroke of his thumb to her cheek, and then took his hand away and slowly turned down the hall, heading towards the gym.

"Holy SHIT! Crystal!! The man is in GORGEOUS and ROMANTIC! How can you not love him?" Dani shot up and raced across the room, shaking Crystal by the shoulders. "What is wrong with you?!"

"Nothing is wrong with me! I do love him, Dani!!" Crystal jerked away, tears coming to her eyes. "I have loved him since the moment I met him... but he has never once treated me as anything more than a friend. I don't know what tonight was all about... but it must be a fluke. He would never like me." She sank onto her bed and snatched her favorite pink bunny, Mr. Sluffles, from the pillow, smushing it against her chest.

Rachel looked at the painting for a moment and then tossed it to the bed directly beside Crystal. "If you ask me... I think he does like you. He may just be to shy to admit it. If you looked closer at the painting you would see there is a couple on the dunes, holding hands and kissing. And in my opinion, that couple looks a lot like you and Peter. But that's just me and I'm no where near as perceptive as a pink floppy bunny!" For a moment, Crystal looked like she would explode into tears, but instead she burst out laughing.

"Thanks Rachel! I can't believe I didn't see that!"

"Oh yeah, me neither, cuz violent waves of tears are so helpful in clearing your mind!" Dani sassed.

"Dani, come on, just let the girl have her happiness. At least one of us can get their dream come true!"

"Hey, you guys will get yours too, I promise!" Crystal gave them both a quick hug and grabbed her bag off the floor, slinging it over her shoulder. "Well, I have to go... training awaits! And no man likes a beautiful woman who is tardy!! I will give you the details later... maybe!"

Rachel and Dani stood silent for a moment, listening as Crystal whistled her way down the hall. Then they looked at each other, not blinking or moving a muscle.

"So are you going to follow her or what?" Rachel asked.

"Hell yes I am!" Dani raced for her gym bag and ran for the door. "I will get back to you with _all_ the details! See ya!" And with that, Rachel was left alone, bittersweet thoughts in her head. She should be happy for Crystal, yes. But the pain she felt over Logan was great enough to squash any happy feelings she could muster. Rachel wanted Logan. And now, that didn't seem possible. Everyone would get their happy ending... everyone except her. She would never reach the stars.

Dani sneaked around the corner of the big gym doors, straining to hear what was being said. Colossus and Crystal were circling each other, getting ready to spare. Dani could hardly wait to see what would happen if he pinned her down. Would they do it, right there on the mat? Probably not, but Dani had to get her kicks somehow, even if vicariously through her friends. Now if she could just fix this Logan thing, then all would be well in the world.

"So you ready to show me some of those battle tactics I taught you last session?"

"Sure, why not?!" Crystal started out with a left hook, right jab combo and a roundhouse that he had showed to her a few weeks before. He easily blocked the attack with a few swats of his hand. Damn him! "Oh, so maybe we should play harder then, huh?"

"I can take what ever you dish out, Ice Girl."

Crystal hated that name! And he knew it!! Oh, how dare he! She jumped to the side as he lunged forward, catching him off guard. He landed on his knees and she had the perfect opportunity. 

With a flick of her wrist, Crystal showed him just how icy she could be. His left butt cheek sat frozen, as she gave a smug grin. Ha! Ha ha ha! She was victorious!

Peter glanced over his shoulder, one eye brow lifting slightly at the sight of his frosty butt. "I don't remember that being one of the essential enemy target zones I taught you."

"Well, it was the only target on my mind at the time." Oh shit! Crystal hadn't meant to say that! "Um, sorry, that must have been my outside voice?" Her cheeks flared up, and she ducked her head so he wouldn't see the embarrassing blush.

"You are blushing, Crystal."

"Yes, this I know."

His hand found that spot under her chin and for the second time that night, lifted her head so he could look into her eyes. "I think it's cute."

"You do?" Her knees were about to give out as her hands began to shake.

"Yes." He leaned closer into Crystal, his mouth only inches from hers. "Think about my nether regions often?"

"Just about all the time. That's it." And before she could laugh away her honesty, he closed the small gap between them. And in that moment, Crystal died and went to heaven.


	8. Chapter 9

"Damn! Everyone gets action but me!" Dani exclaimed as she pulled her cell phone from her jacket pocket. She hit the first speed dial button and waited for the other end to pick up. "Yeah, they kissed... just thought you should know!"

"Oh thanks! Now I can be really depressed." Rachel said, the bile rising in her throat. Damn that Logan!

"Well, I think you might be doing the same thing real soon, Rach. Don't worry, Logan will come around. Then you two can get on with the steer ropin' or whatever and I can keep chasing Scott. The world will be right, even if I have to kill everyone on the planet to have it that way!"

"Yeah, whatever Dani. I'm need to head out for my session in a few minutes, so I have to go stick on my sweats. See you later tonight."

"No, actually Crystal and I are going to Jubilee's to study for Advanced Chemistry tonight. So I will see you tomorrow in first class. Bye doll! And smile, cuz I know at least one Wolverine who is thinking about you, whether you believe me or not. Night!" The phone snapped shut in Dani's hand. She glanced at the clock on the wall only to see that she was late for her session with Kurt. SHIT! She spun on her heel and took off towards the courtyard. Except she only made it about four inches before she ran smack into the brick wall known as Logan.

"Damn it, Logan! Watch where you are going you big overgrown lightning rod!! Next time I'll... wait a second... were you listening to my conversation?"

"Maybe. Was that Rachel on the other end?"

"Maybe. Why do you want to know?" Dani braced her hands on her hips, giving Logan an evil eye! Stupid metallic mammal!

"Because I have to talk to her."

"About..."

"None of your damn business!" Logan growled. He didn't have time for this. He needed to find Rachel, and fast! "Just tell me where she is or I'll..."

"You'll what? Lick me to death. You can't touch me Logan; I'm a student, so nuh!" She stuck her tongue out in a very mature show of sportsmanship.

"I don't have the patience for this tonight. Just tell me where to find her."

"How about turning around?" At the sound of Rachel's voice, Logan immediately turned around. She was dressed in a black tank top and jeans and she looked good enough to eat. It had been two weeks since the kiss and it was all Logan could do not jump her right there. "What do you need?"

"You. Just you."

"Why? Am I late for training or something?"

"No. I want you, kid. The past fourteen days have been hell! Not talking to you, not seeing you... it drove me insane! Everyday I stood back and watched your sexy ass move down the hall, laughing with those guys from your classes, when all I really wanted to do was tear off your clothes and take your right then and there and teach those little boys a thing or two."

"Logan I don't think..."

"Don't interrupt me. Just let me say this. You make me crazy, kid. Everything you do! Your smile, your eyes and even the way you smell."

"Uh Logan, Dani is still..."

"I don't give a shit about Dani right now! I can't stand it a minute longer. I have to have you. Now. Here. Where ever. Any and every way I can." Logan pulled in a much needed gulp of air. He had done it. Layed out all his shit for her to see. Now she just needed to say the word and he could finally have her. Once would be enough. Maybe after that she would be out of his system for good and he could move on, away from all these emotions and desires. If he had her once, then he could forget all about it and go back to the way he was. But even as Logan told himself that was true, he knew deep down that once wouldn't satisfy his hunger. One time would never be enough.

Rachel pursed her lips together, trying not to bust out laughing.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Maybe she wants to laugh her ass off because you forgot all about me standing right behind you, Captain Observant. What was that you wanted to do? Tear her what off?" A vein began to throb at Logan's temple and Rachel could see he was about to explode. She ducked her head, trying to avoid the inevitable.

"Damn it! Why the hell didn't you tell me that, kid?" Logan screamed, loud enough for the whole gym to hear.

"I tried! But you wouldn't let me have a word in edgewise! And I am NOT A KID!" Rachel turned to storm away, but a strong hand caught her by the arm. "Let me go, dammit!"

"The hell I will!" Logan jerked her against his chest, holding her there with the force of a very strong, very angered man.

"Do I have to do everything, you guys? Here, have some alone time, I have to get to session!" Dani placed her hand on Logan's back and in a blink of an eye; the two of them were gone. People stood silent in the gym, all eyes on Dani. Great, now they had made a scene. Stupid 

idiots! Why couldn't they fight in private! "Just a lover's quarrel... nothing to see here, folks!" She looked up at the clock again. 8: 57! Shit! She was going to be soooo late!


	9. Chapter 10

Room 236 was peaceful and content. Miss Katie slept in the corner on her cushy cat bed while the radio played soft jazz music. This was how a dorm room should look. Yet, in just about four seconds, the entire room was in an uproar once again, purple black smoke filling wall to wall. It didn't take very long for the smoke to rise and disappear, but the turmoil had just begun.

"Ok, at least we have all of our limbs." Rachel ran a hand down her arm just to make sure. "Good. I'm completely whole. How about you Logan? All your parts still attached?" She raised her eyes and looked up at the man standing in front of her, every gorgeous inch. "Logan?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. What the hell was that?"

"She teleported us back here. Said we needed time alone." A suddenly, Rachel couldn't think of a better solution. Thank you Dani! Logan looked amazing in his training sweat pants and the wife beater he always happened to throw on. The muscles in his jaw tightened, a sign that he knew she was shamelessly checking him out. Good! Rachel wanted him to know. She wanted everyone to know how she felt around Logan. "Truce?"

"Sure, kid. Why not?"

"Logan, will you ever stop calling me kid?"

"Maybe." Logan jammed a hand into his hair trying to sort things out. But as Rachel took a few steps towards him, all of his thoughts diminished. Everything in the room fell silent as she ran her hands down the front of his shirt, feeling his hard abs through the thin fabric of the shirt. "What are you doing?"

"Proving to you that I am so much more than a kid." She rose up on her toes, finding the pulse in his neck and gave it an appreciative lick. "Think you can handle that, Wolverine?"

"Bring it on, Lynx."

"Call me Rachel. Please, Logan. Just this once." She looked up into those big brown eyes of his and smiled. "I won't tell anyone, I promise."

A deep growl resonated through Logan's chest. If he said her name, if he called her Rachel, then she would no longer be just some kid. She would be a woman. His woman. Aw hell! His mouth landed fierce onto hers stunning her into silence. His tongue stroked her lips and she immediately gave way to his force. Their breath came shallow and hot, each a testament to the desire rocketing through them both. Rachel caught Logan's bottom lip and bit down gently sending him right over the edge. He broke their contact long enough to throw her onto the bed and rip his shirt off, throwing it across the room to land where ever the hell it wanted to. He didn't give a damn about anything but... "Rachel."

She stilled, her eyes going wide as he gently lowered himself to the bed beside her. "I'm going to take you, Rachel." His hand brushed down the side of her hip, finding the band of her jeans. "If you don't want that, then I can stop. It might kill me, but I could try, if you needed me too." His 

hand stilled, waiting for her response. But instead of speaking, Rachel lifted up and pulled her tee shirt over her head, and throwing it across the room with Logan's. She had forgotten to stick on her bra, but with the way Logan's eyes immediately heated, she figured it was a good thing. His gaze moved over her chest, the hungry look making her breath catch. "So, I'm thinking that's a yes, then?"

"Oh, most definitely." Rachel pushed his shoulders until he was flat on his back, and then gently straddled his almost bare body. The fire between them leapt to life and it was all she could do not to faint from the heat. His body was hard and lean and almost edible. She bent down and nibbled on his ear, seeing just how edible he really was. He tasted like sea salt and honeysuckle... a combination that was strictly male. "I want you to make me scream, Professor Logan." She whispered shamelessly in his ear. His response was automatic.

One metallic claw slid forward out of his knuckle as his hand skimmed down the hemline of her jeans, from waste to ankle. The fabric easily tore apart and before Rachel could protest, another claw slid down her other leg. Logan grabbed the fabric in his fist and tossed it like a pro into the garbage can. "Won't need those ever again."

"And why is that?"

"Because I plan to keep you in this bed for a long, long time." He slid his hand underneath the lacy panties Rachel had chosen this morning. Thank God her grannies were in the wash! "Nice choice, babe. To bad they have to go as well." With one tug at the fabric the panties flew across the room to join her jeans in the garbage. "That's much better."

"Not good enough. You are still clothed." Shaky hands found the button and zipper of Logan's Levis, as she slowly drove him crazy. Taking her dear sweet time, Rachel undid each centimeter of the zipper until it was completely undone, then gingerly worked at pulling the pants down Logan's scrumptious body. It was only when his jeans were completely off did she notice the general lack of boxer briefs. "You go commando?"

"Only on days when I want to seduce sexy woman. Most days its black cotton stretch." Logan winked as her eyes settled on his pelvic region. "It is not polite to stare, Rachel."

"Yes, but... um... I don't think you'll... well... you are kind of... robust?" Her cheeks instantly blushed and Logan almost died from the site. A beautiful naked woman, starring at him and blushing. Nothing in this world could be better than that. His lips gently closed on to hers as Logan rolled over, placing her smoothly against the mattress. "Logan, really, it's huge!"

"Well, a man can never get tired of hearing that." His easy smile did nothing to calm her nerves. "Rachel, honey, just put your legs around my waist and I can take care of the rest." She did as she was told and slid her legs tightly around him and giving a little test squeeze. He dipped his head and licked the tight, pink nub that had been aching for his touch. "I believe the word you used was 'scream'?" He mouth continued its sweet assault as Rachel nodded slightly. "Good. Let's hope these walls are sound proof." And with that Logan's hand slid between their bodies, 

opening her up as he guided himself toward her. With a gentle push from his hips, he slid halfway inside, making Rachel gasp.

"Oh, Logan. I really don't think this will work."

"Just a little more, Hun." Logan slid out and then thrust all the way in, this time making Rachel practically yelp in delight. "See, nothing to it."

Rachel couldn't bring herself to speak as Logan began to rock back and forth. The friction sent white heat searing through every nerve in her body. She blindly reached for his shoulders, her nails making little half moons in his back as she held on tightly. A husky laugh escaped his lips just before they landed on top of hers. His mouth and hips kept the same pulsating rhythm, building the pleasure beyond any thing Rachel could have ever imagined. His solid manhood pumped away, reaching nerve endings she hadn't even known existed. Then Logan slipped his hand between their bodies and found the place that made Rachel cry out. And just when she thought the pleasure couldn't get any more intense, his expert fingers picked up the pace, stroking double-time against the sensitive flesh. And then she came apart right there in his arms. The searing white heat exploded through her body as tremors shook her core. Her muscles squeezed Logan so hard; he thought he might die from the pressure. But instead he gave up control and let the orgasm rocket through them both. Blood pounded in Logan's ears but he swore he heard a scream coming from the trembling woman beneath him. With one last thrust, Logan emptied everything he had into Rachel's body and then collapsed beside her on the bed.

"Damn." That was all he could bring himself to say. His body felt drained but instantly hot all over. Rachel lay there beside him, small spasms still traveling through her muscle. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt anything so amazing. Logan had just taken her to the stars, and with the clarity that only comes from complete satisfaction, she knew she wanted it all over again.

"When is the soonest possible time we can do that again?"

"Again? Hell, you are an insatiable little sex tiger aren't you?"

"I wasn't before, but you have made a monster."

"Give me about six minutes and I will see what I can do to satisfy your hunger, Madame." Logan let his eyes close as his body worked to build his strength back up. And before he could even ask, Rachel grabbed the blanket at the end of the bed and climbed on top of him, resting her head against his heart. Logan didn't know whether it was the warmth of the blanket or the heat from her body, but he felt for the first time in his life, completely at peace. Instantly he knew that this little tiger was something very special. But all good things had to come to an end. By morning, Logan would be gone, and she would be hurt for a while, but in the long run it was the best thing he could do for her. He couldn't give her the life she wanted. No picket fences or 2.5 kids running around the yard. Jean had been right. He wasn't the good guy you spend forever with. He was just an animal incapable of loving anything. But as he opened his eyes, watching Rachel rest silently on his chest, Logan's heart began to think differently.

Slight wisps of clouds stretched over a full moon casting eerie slants of light upon room 236. The clock on the beside table read 12:36 am. The last few students passed by all hurrying to get to bed after late training sessions. All was completely quite in the South Halls, and for the first time, a quiet calm settled over the almost always hectic door room. Logan's chest rose and fell in perfect harmony with the strong heart beat pumping away beneath Rachel's ear.

This was completely new territory for Rachel. She had never woken up in the arms of a man before, not that she could remember any way. A strange tingly sensation bubbled up deep in her core and then spread to each nerve ending in her body. She tried to pull in a deep breath, but it caught and it was in that moment she realized that she was deeply and inexplicably in love with Logan.

A small shiver ran down her spine and she also realized that sometime in the past few hours she had kicked the blanket away, leaving her legs exposed and very chilly. She ran her foot along Logan's leg, trying to capture the covers, but instead she succeeded in doing something far more interesting. She had made Logan moan in his sleep. Oh, now this was interesting! She repeated the gesture, this time instead of moaning, Logan tightened his grip on Rachel's body. Oh ho!

This was going to be so much fun! She slid down Logan's stomach, and reached underneath the blanket. Her hand found its way to his naked and delicious thigh moments before her mouth. She planted a few choice kisses near the inside of his thigh and instantly saw a reaction... he was rock hard once again. Thank you God for sending a sex machine! Logan's breathing came a little faster as Rachel placed her lips softly against his tip. And just as suddenly as his body reacted before, his eyes flew open and immediately locked onto hers.

"You are a little tiger aren't you?"

Rachel slipped her tongue along the sensitive vein that ran underneath the rather large, excited part of Logan's anatomy. His breath caught. "Yes. I am. Any arguments, Wolverine?"

"Not a one, Tiger."

"Tiger? Is that the replacement for 'Kid'?"

"No, its Rachel, I know that now. Tiger is my own personal reminder of just what kind of sex hellion you really are." His eyes darkened as Rachel gently ran her teeth over the tender flesh. "Ok, that you can keep doing for the rest of forever if you want."

"My pleasure." Logan dug his hands deep into the mattress. Rachel's lips against him were almost too much to handle. And then she wrapped her mouth around him and sucked in, and Logan could have sworn he died right there.

"Rachel, if you don't stop... well, I can't hold out through much more of that."

"I don't want you to, Logan." She began to move up and down, simultaneously pulling and pushing him closer to the edge. "And in case you didn't get the hint, I will not be stopping. I want 

all of you, Professor Logan." She ran her hands down his shaft until she brushed the sack just below. "I want to hear you scream." And it was then that she reached over and grabbed a finger-full of pink icing from the nearby table

Just a few minutes later, Rachel had gotten her wish. And as they lie in the bed, completely spent and pleasantly numb, Logan felt his heart swell for the first time since Jean died, and even then it had never felt like it this. But he refused to feel it. Nothing would make him feel again. He wasn't fit to be with any woman, because everyone he had ever been with ended up hurt. He had hurt Rogue, he'd let Jean die, and that was enough. There was no way he could stand to hurt Rachel. She was too good of a person for that, his mind told him. But his heart knew it was because he loved her that he couldn't stand to see her in pain. So he would leave. Come morning he would get out of that bed, pack his things and ride away just like he'd done before.

Rachel groaned slightly and instinctively Logan pulled her closer to his side. They fit perfectly into one another. And Logan was hell bent on enjoying every last second with this amazing woman he had so shortly come to need and care for. He tipped his head slightly and placed a kiss against her soft hair. The sun would rise in a few hours and Logan knew the best thing for him and for Rachel was to leave. Leaving would make it easier for both of them to move on, and as an extra bonus, ensure that Logan would never have to settle down. Because that wasn't what he wanted right? He had never wanted to be the married man. But as he felt Rachel's heart beat mix with his own, he could easily see a loving her for the rest of his life and beyond.

"Shit!" Logan swore softly. He was leaving and that was final! This thing would never work with Rachel and he had to accept that. He would end up hurting her, end up letting her down one way or the other and that was unacceptable. The Ducati was fully gassed and operational. It would serve him just fine come dawn.


	10. Chapter 11

Tiny rays on sunlight splashed against the bed as Rachel rolled and stretched under the covers. Last night had been... well indescribable. Just having Logan's arms around her all night would have been enough, but then on top of everything else they had done, she was in heaven. Sweet memories floated through her mind as a tiny spark ignited in the pit of her stomach. She was going to see Logan. Today and everyday for the rest of forever if she could help it! A soft purr resonated from the other side of the bed. Miss Katie must have taken Logan's place when he had gotten up earlier. Rachel had been asleep and only remembered half of what he had said. Something about breakfast... needing milk or what not. What ever! He could bring back milk, eggs, 76 trombones and an H-bomb for all Rachel cared, just so long as he brought his cute ass along with.

Katie jerked suddenly as if she heard Rachel's thoughts, and jumped on top of the covers directly onto her chest. Rachel opened her eyes and was met with the most intent kitty stare in the entire world.

"What, Kate? What's wrong?" The dense fog of sleep was slowly fading away as Rachel tried to read the little black cats thoughts. "Something about Logan?"

Kate took a step closer, her tiny nose just inches from Rachel's and then it hit. A sudden realization that took the very breath out of her lungs. Logan was gone. "No, Kate, he can't be gone! What did you see?" Out of instinct, Rachel placed her hand gently on top of the kittens head and closed her eyes to concentrate.

A flash of light and then a window. The roar of a motorcycle engine. Logan's unmistakable leather-clad back riding away down the street. And then the light was gone, and Rachel closed the connection to Kate's kitty mind.

"How could he? What is going on?" A lump formed in Rachel's throat making it hard to breath. Tears began to well behind her eyes as her heart broke into a million pieces. He didn't want her. That's what was going on. This was a clear sign that last night had meant absolutely nothing to that rat bastard! Pain, dull and numb, began to throb in every corner of her body.

Then, out of no where, something nudged at the back edges of her mind.

_Professor? _

_Yes Rachel, its me. What is the matter? I can feel your pain all the way in Washington. _

_It's Logan. He's gone, Professor. He left this morning on Scott's bike and... _She couldn't go on. It hurt too much to think about Logan.

_Try to rest, Rachel. I will inform the staff of your absence from classes today. I am truly sorry for what he has done. If there is anything I can do... _

_Kill him? _

_I think in time you will realize that is a little bit rash. All in due time, my dear. _

A dark shadow cast itself over Rachel's bed and in the back of her mind she knew that Xavier had closed the blinds and curtains. She would have said 'thank you' but she figured he already knew. Small tears slipped onto the pillow leaving trails of salty wetness all down the satin cover. Nothing would ever be the same without Logan. Emotions whirled through her as she closed her eyes, trying desperately to sleep. Pain, anger, worry, confusion, but most of all... love. Rachel couldn't help it. She still loved the jackass with the lop-sided grin. She thought of the day they'd met out in the rose garden, and cried even harder. Her love for him would never die, and it killed her to know she would hurt for the rest of her life. She reached out in the darkness of the room grabbing the gallon tub of icing from the bedside table and scooping a whole handful into her mouth. Rachel bet her mom would have said that sugar cured every ailment. She looked like the kind of woman who would say things like that. A new pain mix into Rachel's emotions. She wanted her, that woman from the photo, to be there, holding her hand. She wanted her mother.

"I had the stars, Momma. I had them right in the palm of my hand. And then I closed my eyes and they were gone. I'm so sorry, Momma. I just wanted to make you proud of me. Instead I went and lost my heart to some a man you probably wouldn't even like. I just wish you were here." Outside the window, the skies clouded over as tiny rain drops fell against the glass. It only broke Rachel's heart more. Her Momma was cryin'. Crying for her little girl.

That beautiful gleaming morning, the one that had held so many sweet promises, turned into the darkest, rainiest night of the entire year. And Rachel's mood was the exact twin, the rage and hurt swirling inside her soul, a grey storm cloud looming over the bed she hadn't found the strength to leave. Kate had left hours ago to prowl around the school, hunting little enemy mice. At least one of them could have fun!

A low rumble emitted from Rachel's stomach. She hadn't eaten since... the icing. Logan. Oh God, please make the pain stop! It seemed like nothing could help with the black void in her heart. Except... maybe... alcohol? Rachel vaguely remembered Mark over in East wing said something about Bacardi. And she desperately needed a drink.

The light in the hallway was blinding as Rachel pulled the door closed to room 236 and padded down the hall in her polar bear pj pants and fluffy bunny slippers, with the picture of her mom tucked away in a pocket. She needed the comfort, no matter how many people stared. The muscles in her back contracted as her legs cramped up from lack of use. Damn him! Damn him straight to the first ring of he... wait a second... where was everyone. It was only ten o'clock... there should have been people in the halls. Instead, everything was completely silent. Something was wrong, Rachel could feel it. She closed her eyes, her mind reaching out for Katie. She searched and searched and finally found the tiny black cat near the main parlor... and then all of a sudden a flash pierced her brain. Men in army gear. Guns. Electric shock machines. Fighting. Dani and Crystal going down. Scott yelling for back up. Lights flickering and then it went black. Oh no!!


	11. Chapter 12

Rachel kicked off her slippers and broke into a full out sprint. She flew past dorms and classrooms, chairs and tables until she heard it... the sounds of the fight. She came to a halt at the corner of the impasse that led to the parlor. From her hidden position she could see the majority of the battle.

Thirty or so army guys flooded the large parlor. Scott was in the farthest corner fighting six men, each with an electric shock gun. Blue shots of lightning blazed through the room as they fired relentlessly at Scott. He was weakening but still battle-ready. A few feet away from him, Crystal, Dani and Colossus were surrounded by what looked to be fifteen guys. Colossus was already completely armored but Crystal and Dani took each fire of the taser guns without protection. Crystal shot ice at one of the guns, sending the soldier flying across the room into a brick wall. But as quickly as one fell, three more pushed onward. Rachel focused her ears, listening for Rogue and Bobby. They were in the West halls. And there were footsteps running in that direction... twenty... or no, twenty five, it sounded like. And without Storm, Kurt, the Professor and Logan, the rag tag group of mutants was going to fall quickly unless something drastic happened to change the scales of the battle.

Well, if they needed a warrior, then here she came. Rachel pushed out every sound, every thought from her mind and focused on one single image. She concentrated harder, and began to feel a hot energy deep inside her core. And then it spread, and her body began to transform. The muscles in her body stretched, thinned and slimmed, becoming those of the most deadly creature on the planet. Her bones twisted, her organs shifted as she became their worst nightmare. They needed something drastic... and she was about to give it to them.

"Peter! I can't hold them! They just keep coming!" Crystal shouted, sending wave after wave of ice at the entrance way. Countless men fell, but more came to take their place. Where was every body? Peter had been right beside her, but from the corner of her eye all she saw was mass destruction and multiplying army men! "Peter!!" She turned on her heels to see him lying in the floor, unconscious. "Oh no you didn't!" She shouted as she shot more ice into the oncoming group of men. "You can attack my school. You can shoot me with tasers. You can even beat the shit out of Scott. But you can NOT HURT MY BOYFRIEND!" With a battle cry on her lips, Crystal charged forward, punching and kicking her way into the mass. She was going to take down every stupid son of a bitch, no matter how long it took! As one hand engaged in physical battle, her other kept dealing out the deadly ice shards. She parried with her right and shot a deadly looking ice shard with her left. An especially big fellow came charging at her, but Crystal was ready for him. She leaned back on her haunches and as he came at her, she used his momentum and sent him flying over her head into a big, very breakable mirror. Glass shattered, raining down over the parlor. And then she saw it. A flash of something black and extremely large!

The creature pounced onto four of the commandos, ripping them apart with its massive steel claws. Crystal spun as it leapt over top of her and took down two more guys that she hadn't even seen! Its massive black head swung around and Crystal came face to face with the most massive black panther she had ever seen! Thick, tawny fur covered a body that had to be at least five feet long and a foot and a half wide. The metallic claws gleamed as it growled, flashing an impressive set of canines. Wait... green eyes, metallic claws, big ass panther?

"Rachel?"

The large cat gave a quick nod and then dodged to the right, by-passing Crystal completely and attacking another troop of guys that had just burst through the parlor window. Crystal heard the taser gun seconds after it fired from behind her. With a sickly thud, she fell to the marbled floor, a soft black void filling her mind.

The panther made its way through the dark, exploding parlor, taking out guys left and right. Her claws penetrated their thin bullet proof vests, leaving gashing wounds and long trails of blood in her wake. She was the ultimate killing machine and nothing could crave her thirst for vengeance. A red blast caught her attention as Scott desperately tried to take out the four men surrounding him as he backed further into an inescapable corner. There was no way she could take them and save Scott as well. She shoved off the ground and landed directly beside him and in one fluid motion, caught his leg in her mouth just as he fell and drug him down the nearest hallway.

The large cat carried him for at least two hundred feet until it found a safe alcove. Pain ebbed back and forth through his entire body as the large cat gently released his leg. What the hell was a cat doing in the school? And why did it just drag him away from the fight? He made a motion to stand but the cat pounced, landing both feet on his chest and pushing him back down. With a loud roar, the panther slinked away, giving Scott the clear message to stay put.

As Rachel made her way back into the parlor, she saw that the army men were retreating down the West halls, towards the exit. Damn fucking straight! Her strong legs pumped up and down as she ran full speed after them, taking down as many as she could. She felt every muscle rippled through the cat's skeleton, and it felt amazing! She followed them as far as the outdoor gardens, and saw the twenty or so that had survived haul ass into a large helicopter with the word Stryker on the side. But what she didn't see was the gattling gun attached to both sides to the chopper. When she realized how open of a target she was, it was too late. The panther fell to the grass, eight bullets lodged in its sleek body, a river of blood pouring from the wounds. And as Rachel's mind slipped into a deep black unconsciousness, the panther fell away, and her human form took shape once again.

A vague silence descended upon the mansion as Scott strained to hear just what was going on. A faint whirling sound came from the window behind him as the helicopters pulled out, disappearing into the blackened night. What the hell had just happened? When he locked his classroom door and made his way to the back hall where his room was, he had never expected a swarm of soldiers to raid the place! Scott would bet anything on the fact that those were Stryker's guys. Probably following latent orders, lashing out for the loss of their leader. Well it was rude! And Scott felt instantly violated at the second intrusion into what he use to think was the safest place on earth. He needed to contact the Professor and the rest of the X-team, let them know about the attack and about the battle including news on the students including Colossus, Rogue, Bobby, Crystal and Dani... Oh God! Dani! Last he had seen of her she was surrounded by a swarm of guys, a look of steel determination on her face as she teleported in and out of the scene, swiftly attacking who ever she could reach. But where was she now?

Scott shot up immediately with only one purpose, he had to find Dani. Sharp pain radiated from his leg, little needles digging into his calf, but Scott couldn't bother to think about it as he awkwardly jogged down the corridor. Upon reaching the main parlor, he came to a stop... the sight he saw was overwhelming. One light flickered on and off, the shards of glass catching the faint glow. Blood streaked every wall and the bodies of the army men lay mangled and twisted upon one another. Colossus came out from a shadowy corner, the metallic armor dissolving away. "Where is Dani?"

Colossus scanned the room and found the Dani and Crystal over by the entrance to the South halls, both silently lying on the floor. Scott followed Colossus' line of sight and immediately ran forward when he saw Dani. His hands were shaking as he knelt down beside her, slowly sliding his eyes up and down her body, searching for wounds. Her arm looked mangled, most likely broken. Scott instinctively wished for the man who did that to die a long, slow death. Whoa! Where did that come from? But before he could analyze it further, Dani began to come around. "Dani? Are you all right? Head contusions? Blurry vision? Troubles breathing? Muscle fatigue? Come on Dani, speak to me!"

"Scott, I am fine, ok? Just my arm, I think I broke it when I went down, but no other problems." She turned her weary eyes and found his wrinkled brow. He was worried. About her? Well, what a nice turn of events! Break an arm, gain a sympathetic hot man. Nothing could beat that. "Really Scott, it's ok, I promise."

"Well, we aren't taking any chances. You are going straight to the medical lab for tests and are not leaving until I say so." A warm hand moved down her back, as Dani struggled to a standing position, and when she wobbled, his arm fastened tight around her waist. Oh to the medical lab we will go, dear Scott! He could play doctor all night if it meant his hands keep doing what they were doing! "Peter, get the other young girl and let's go!"

"Um, I do have a name ya know? And besides we can not leave without Rachel!" Crystal planted her feet on the marble as her knees buckled. Every inch of her body was throbbing from pain and a cold trickle of blood ran from her stomach on down to her knees.

"Rachel never came, Crystal. It was just us and Bobby and Rogue, remember?" Peter turned to Scott as Crystal swayed against his supportive arms. "She must be delusional."

"I am not CRAZY, Peter! She was here. That big black panther was her! She saved my life! If it hadn't been for her, those army guys would have clobbered me and Dani, but instead she ran them off! But now she isn't here and if we don't find her she could be really hurt or lost and..." The room took a dip as Crystal's speech trailed off. It felt like she was riding the world's loopiest rollercoaster, upside down and backwards. Peter bent down to pick her up but she pushed him away.

"Crystal come on! Don't be proud! You have to go to the medical lab so Scott can take care of you." Again his arms reached for her, but this time she turned and sprinted down the hall, mustering every last drop of spare energy she could as her legs weakly carried her away. Distantly she could hear Peter, Scott and Dani all yelling from behind her, but all she cared about 

was Rachel. She had to find her. Had to help her! There was no way she was loosing her new best friend! Not for all the rice in China!

The corridors seemed hollow, as the empty echo of her feet slamming the ground reverberated through against the beige walls. She rounded a corner that led to an outdoor veranda, and then came to a sudden halt. There on the ground was Rachel, the human Rachel. Her skin was badly bruised and in some places, long, sickly gashes curved and crossed on top of one another. She was almost naked, except for a pair of skin-tight bicycle shorts. Crystal took a few tentitive steps forward and then saw it. A river of deep red blood poured from underneath Rachel's mangled body.

"Crystal! Come on now, just let it..." Peter's voice trailed off as he came to stand beside her. Scott and Dani came to a halt directly behind Peter. Everyone saw it now. The twisting pool of blood on the pristine green grass. "Scott." Peter turned, waving his hand in front of Scott's face. He blinked a few times, and then finally noticed the waving. "Scott!"

"Yes, sorry Peter. It's just... Rachel."

"Yeah, I know. Can you take care of getting Crystal and Dani to the med lab by yourself?"

"Yes. Of course." Scott took Crystal's hand, leading her away from Rachel. "Come on."

"Peter?" Crystal's voice sounded meek and many miles away.

"What is it darling?" The pain in her large brown eyes tore away at his heart. She was in shock, but also, her heart was breaking. "Crystal honey?"

"Please, just take care of her." And with that, Crystal fainted.


	12. Chapter 13

A light scent of water Lillies floated lazily on the still air. Faint mumbling carried from somewhere far away it seemed. Everything was black, just an empty space where there should have been light, sound, and movement. Nothing seemed to make sense, and all the thoughts kept swirling, racing around one another like a giant jigsaw puzzle trying to piece itself together. She could hold on, just barely, to one memory though. It was nighttime, there was a beautiful man next to her on a wonderfully soft bed. His eyes were molten silk, and his smile told her everything she had ever longed to hear. She loved this man. And then, he faded away into the darkness.

"So she can hear us, right Scott?" Crystal placed the glass bowl full of white water lilies on the window seat. She had remembered seeing them on the front of Rachel's journal. She figured that Rachel would enjoy them... if she was awake.

"Yes, she can hear you." Scott sat down on the bedside, stroking a heavy brown strand of hair away from her face. "She is doing quite well today actually. Earlier I thought I saw her eyelids flicker... but that could have been wishful thinking." Scott paused, silently cursing Logan for leaving a magnificent woman such as Rachel. In the past few weeks she had been under his care at the hospital, Scott had come to care a great deal about the mysterious Rachel. Each day he hoped she would open her eyes. But each day she stayed the same. Damn that Logan. Scott cleared his throat and turned back to face Crystal and Dani. "Her vitals are good today girls, but don't stay too long. I don't want to distress her mind at all, ok?"

"Ok thanks Scott." Crystal took his place on the side of the bed while Dani stood quietly at the foot of the bed.

"It's ok Dani. You won't hurt her if you get closer." Scotts hand found her arm and a warm swirling sensation formed in the pit of her stomach. She didn't know if she could handle getting close to Rachel. The pain of loosing one of her closest friends was almost unbearable. And it was her fault that Rachel had been so rash. If she hadn't pushed Logan and her together, then Logan would never have left and Rachel wouldn't have been so hurt and would have instead made the right decision instead of risking her life to save everyone else. "Dani. Really, it is ok." Another tumbling heat spread into her stomach. "It was not your fault, you know."

"Yeah, that's what everyone keeps saying. But Scott..." A blush grew across Dani's cheeks. "I'm sorry, I mean Professor Summers... I just... I... I have to go, ok?" And with that Dani rushed from the room, heading straight for her dorm. Yeah, it wasn't her fault... only like, a lot!

Dani only got as far as the elevator when a familiar roar snapped her back into the present. A motorcycle. A big motorcycle. The Ducati. She knew the sound. Scott had revved that bike more times than she could count. That only meant one thing. Logan was back. Dani took off at a sprint back towards the med lab, and ran directly into Scott, knocking him off balance and against the wall. Their bodies were flat together from the impact and Dani's hormones took a moment to cheer! But he brain told them to shut up, there were more important things besides smooshed body parts. They refused to quiet down, instead forcing her hips to wiggle a little bit. Shameless hussies!

"Dani? Is there a reason you threw me against the wall? Or was that just for fun?" Wait a second? Was Scott flirting with her? Boring, respectable Scott had just made a sexual innuendo. Someone write that down, historic day in deed!

"No, Professor Summers. I'm not trying to be funny. On the contrary, I am here for a very serious reason."

"What?! Is something wrong? Are you in pain? Post-traumatic stress syndrome?" His sexy chocolate eye brows knitted with worry. It was the sexiest thing Dani had ever seen.

"No I don't have post-transmission stress symptom or whatever. It's about Rachel. Well, actually about Logan. He's... here." Just then, a tall, leather clad figure entered the sterile hallway. His heavy riding boots echoed through the strained silence. In his hand, Dani could make out some sort of note or envelope, but to be honest, she really didn't give a shit.  
Logan stopped a few feet from the door to the lab. Scooter and Dani stood completely silent. He was definitely unwanted. Well hell, that wasn't new!

"Kid, Scooter. Where is my welcome home party? I figured you two for the streamer type!" His cocky smile faded as Scooter pivoted on his heel and disappeared into the med lab. That couldn't be a good sign. "So Kid, is Rachel in there?" Logan already knew the answer. Xavier had contacted him from the plane on his way back from Washington. Logan had been just two hours away. He hadn't made it any further. He just couldn't force himself to drive that far. His rational side said it was because he felt a responsibility to the school and to Xavier, but his heart knew different. He couldn't drive that bike one mile further because of Rachel. The second Xavier had said that Rachel was in trouble; Logan left his sixteenth full bottle of Bud and drove straight back to Westchester. The two hour drive had ended after forty five minutes. Impossible to some, but a man sick with worry and guilt could do miraculous things.

"Logan? Damn, wake the hell up! I told you to leave! Crystal, Scott and I are doing just fine without you. We don't want you here." Dani placed her hands on her hip, red-faced from anger.

"What about what Rachel wants?"

"There is no way to know what she wants, she is in a coma!" The news hit Logan like a Mac truck, snatching the breath right from his lungs. Coma?! Charles had said nothing about a coma! Oh God, it was all his fault! He had tried to avoid hurting her, tried to control their futures by leaving, but in truth, he had actually hurt her worse. With out another word, Logan dropped the letter he had held tightly in his fist, and turned away from the medical lab. His boots again echoed, but this time the sound was somber, just like his heart. His sweet, kind, wild Rachel was in a coma. She may never wake up, never laugh again, never smile again, never kiss again.  
Logan felt a lump form in his throat and a stinging in his eyes, and for the first time in his life, he cried. He sank down onto the floor by a wooden bench and let everything pour out: his frustration, his anger, his agony, and the bottomless sorrow that ate away at his heart. With out Rachel, Logan would never be the same. His hand grasped blindly at the seat of the bench and came across something denim and soft. He blinked rapidly against the tears, trying to make out what the fabric was. A moment or two passed and he realized it was a jacket. A soft, blue, jean 

jacket. It was Rachel's jean jacket, the one she had been wearing when he had first set eyes on her.  
Logan clung to that jacket as if it were the real thing. He would not let her go. He couldn't. She was the one thing that had ever brought peace to the restless animal clawing away inside his soul. She was the only woman he had ever truly loved. He slipped a hand inside the pocket, stupidly hoping that she would be tucked away in it, but instead he found an old looking photograph of a beautiful young girl that looked exactly like... Rachel. So this must be her mother. The one link to the past that forever eluded her. Logan flipped it over and saw fine handwriting inscribed on the back. 'Reach for the things I never had... a warm bed, a loving family, a kiss under fresh mistletoe, and a man who will love you until the end of time'. Reach for the stars? Well if she wanted the stars, then Logan would rope every damn star in the sky tonight. She deserved that kiss, that warm bed, that family and by God he would be that loving man even if it killed him. He would gladly die for Rachel, any day of the week.

"Scott, here you can toss this." Dani handed over the thick, cream stationary with a look of disgust. "Logan dropped it. Must be some Idiots Guide to Being an Ass-hole or something."

Scott took the letter and gently opened the first fold. Long black strokes of ink spelled out an unmistakable name. "It's addressed to Rachel."

"Yeah well, so was that Fed Ex package of brownies but she never saw that, did she? What she doesn't know won't hurt her."

"Just in case, I think I will put it over here by the bed. There is a part of me that thinks she may want to read it, broken heart and all." Scott placed the thick letter beside Rachel's bed. He might hate Logan, but he wasn't blind. He had been watching from the lab window and he had seen the devastation clearly written on Logan's face. It was the look of loosing someone you loved. Scott should know, he saw that look every time he glanced in a mirror.

"Whatever. Let's just leave her be. She has had a lot of excitement today, don't you think?"

"Yes, of course." Scott snatched his chart from the foot of the bed, jotted a few notes on the last page and turned back to Dani. "So, have you had dinner yet?"

Dinner? Had she even had breakfast? Or for that matter, any food since Rachel had been in the medical ward? There was that pack of crackers, but those were a few days ago. "No, but don't worry, Doctor. I will find something to nibble on."

"Well..." Scott stammered for a moment, the words sticking in his throat like glue. Could he really say what he wanted to say? How long was that grieving period suppose to last? And would Dani say yes? "Would you like some company... you know, for the nibbling?"

"Are you offering to eat with me or be the food to be nibbled on?" Dani saw the horror in Scott's face as he realized what he had said. "Don't worry, big guy, I won't tell anyone you actually have sexual thoughts in that prim little brain of yours. Come on, let's go get some food." And with 

that, Scott and Dani left, leaving Rachel completely alone in the darkness of the tiny hospital room.


	13. Chapter 14

A lofty draft swept in the crevice of the partially opened door, stirring the thick cotton bed sheets around her legs. It was still black in her mind. But something was different, something was changing. A new scent arose from somewhere. A strong, heady scent that had her grasping for it with every breath. It whispered on the edge of her mind, pulling piece after piece of broken memories. The big bed was back, only this time, she could see the whole room. A roaring fire, a crystal ashtray, and a white fur rug that appealed to more than one of the five senses. A flash, and then hot lips, sweet kisses, and the deep growl of a man completely satisfied. God she loved that sound. She loved that feeling. She loved Logan. Wait... Logan... that smell... like sea salt and honeysuckle... he was here? Logan! She cried out in her mind, but no one heard a word. She had to try harder.

She focused all of her thoughts, all of her energy and slowly, the black began to fade. Pain flooded her eyes, bringing tears to well up as the whitest room she had ever seen came into focus. Rachel was awake... and extremely hungry. Looking around the room all she found was a vase of beautiful white lilies and a letter with her name on it. The handwriting was long and scrawling, bold against the cream stationary. It practically screamed Logan. That's where his scent must have been coming from. To think, just one whiff of Logan was all it took to get her awake again. If Rachel had heard of it happening to anyone else, it would have seemed cheesy, but at that moment, it just seemed right.

She tried to call out, call for Dani and Crystal, but her throat tensed up after so many days of un-use. Well, she would just have to go get them... that was, of course, after she read whatever it was that Logan had addressed to her. With trembling hands she reached for the letter, the smooth paper like the finest silk against her hands that had only touched rough cotton for weeks on end. What could he want? Probably some lame attempt at getting her back. Something like "I'm sorry, could you forgive me and go back to having casual sex with me again?" Well, not in a million years! She would never go back to being his playmate, no matter how fun playing with him might have been.

But still, there was a part of her that wondered what would actually happen if he asked her to come back, even just for a casual bed-buddy. Various girly parts of her obviously screamed yes! But could her heart take that? Would just a casual part of Logan be enough? Or did she want the whole package, not just, ya know... the package.

Only one way to find out. So with every ounce of emotional strength she could summon, Rachel unfolded the letter, revealing three pages of beautiful, scrawling, hand-written words, beginning with "I'm sorry".

Rachel-

I'm Sorry. I should have said that so many times before now. I am sorry I ever tried to ignore you 

in the first place. I am sorry I embarrassed you in the training room. I am sorry I left without being man enough to tell you why. And most of all, I am sorry I fell in love with you and never said it out loud. There were so many moments when I sat in my room, just thinking about you, and when I realized I had fallen for you, it scared the hell out of me. So I left. I know it was wrong, but at the time, I panicked. I woke up and saw this angel lying in the bed beside me. And I loved her. I loved her so much I thought my heart would break my chest. I have never felt that way. Ever. Not about Jean. Not about anyone. And so I ran, like some damn sissy. I know... you whole-heartedly agree. And that's ok. Call me whatever you want, because I deserve it. Kick and scream and hit me all you like, Rachel, because I hurt you more than once and for that, no amount of "I'm sorrys" will work.

But I still can not help but want to ask for your forgiveness. I miss you, Rachel. And I understand if you never want me back, but I just need you to know that I truly love you. I will never stop loving you, even if you walk out of my life. I know I'm not the best man in the world. Hell, I'm not even close. I'm angry, resentful, jealous as hell, and I have a nasty temper, but when I'm with you, I feel like the best man I can possibly be. I hope I see you again, but if not, good luck with your life and whatever you choose to do with it. I know you can achieve anything you set your mind to. You are really somethin special.

Love,  
Logan


	14. Chapter 15

"So, the whale... what did it symbolize?" Scott asked as he took another bite of the greasiest hamburger he had ever tasted. Jean would have died had she seen this calorie-ridden hunk of meat. But some tiny part of Scott smiled, knowing that Dani was probably the kind of girl who loved greasy food.

"I think it symbolized the final battle for the Captain. Like the roaring conclusion to a life-long obsession. Kind of like one last hoorah, ya know?"

"Very insightful, Dani. I am very proud that you actually got through the book. Ororo told me that half the students in your class gave up around the fourth line or so."

"Well, I really wouldn't have, if it hadn't been for your help." A slight blush tinted her cheeks as she readjusted her glasses. She had been too tired to put in her colored contacts, the ones that hid the purple of her eyes. At least when she was with Scott, she didn't feel so much like a lonely freak. "Thanks for that. It was really sweet of you."

"Anytime you need me, Dani, just find me, ok? I will be around." Did that sound like an invitation? On some level, Scott had meant it to be. God, what was wrong with him? It was like each day he felt less and less guilty about moving on. Was that normal? Or did Jean deserve more respect than Scott was giving her?  
The diner was vibrantly lit, the neon lights bringing out the unique shades of purple in her large eyes. Scott looked deep into the iris, trying to decide where the purple stopped and the black started. And when she turned her gaze to meet his, Scott could have sworn he saw her jump just a little. So maybe she did like him. And maybe, that wasn't such a bad thing. Scott wondered what the Professor would think about a student dating a teacher. He would probably forbid it and send Scott far far away.

_If you wish to put words in my mouth, at least try to sound a little more like me, Scott. _

_Professor? _

_Yes Scott. I am sorry to interrupt your dinner, but I tried your cellular phone and it was turned off. This was the only way to reach you. _

_I'm sorry, Professor. What is it that you needed? _

_It's about your patient, Scott. It seems like she has awoken a little over twenty minutes ago. It is almost certain that she read Logan's letter. As of now she is contemplating whether to run upstairs or stay in the hospital wing and cry. I think you had better head her off on both accounts, don't you? _

_Yes. Of course Professor. I will be there immediately. _

_Oh and Scott... I would not say no to Miss Dani. Though she is no replacement for Jean, she is quite remarkable, isn't she? _

_Yes. Quite. _

"Scott?" Dani's purple eyes came back into focus. She looked concerned, worry etched into her features. It was very cute. "Scott are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. But that was the Professor. It seems that Rachel has woken up and we need to head back, if you are finished."

"Yeah of course, let's boogie."

"Boogie?" Scott's bewildered face made Dani giggle.

"Yes. Let's boogie... jet... leave... vamoose! You know, Scott, you need to keep up with the times. Things are changing awfully fast."

"They sure are, Dani." And Scott knew that he was most definitely telling the truth.


	15. Chapter 16

Rachel read the words over and over again, each time focusing especially on one. Love. He loved her? Since when did this happen? She had been expecting some casual proposal and he just came out and said the big "L" word. Rachel would have never guessed that Logan even knew that word.

I truly love you... you are really something special. The words shined from the paper, glossy in black ink. There is was and yet, it somehow didn't feel real. He loved her. And it wasn't a dream... that is unless she was still in that hell of a coma, but she had been pinching herself for the past five minutes, so that was probably a no. Which meant it was true.  
Rachel tossed the blanket aside and gently swung her legs over the edge of the stiff hospital bed. She felt groggy and a little woozy but beyond that, she was fine. It felt as if everything was unbroken and un-bruised, just as it had been before the attack. Had she really been a big black panther? Her memory was still a little foggy, but she had remembered running on four paws instead of two legs. Hopefully Crystal and Dani could clear things up. But for now, Rachel needed to find Logan.

The first tentative step onto the linoleum was fine, but the second sent her stop into a flip flop. Not using your legs for a long time was not a very good idea. Next time she was in a coma, Rachel was hiring a personal trainer. Just as she finally settled her stomach and got her balance, the door flew open in a rage, knocking her back down onto the bed from fright.

"Rachel! Are you ok? Oh my God you're awake!!" Crystal came running in, followed by Dani and Scott. Crystal flung herself down on the bed and threw her arms tightly around Rachel's neck. Tiny tears fell on to Rachel's shoulder, and even though she was loosing precious oxygen to her brain, it was the sweetest thing any friend had ever done in all her life. "I missed you so much! I thought... oh God... that you would never wake up and I didn't know what I would do without you to help with Peter... and I am just REALLY happy you are awake!" Crystal squeezed Rachel's pale hand as Dani came to sit on the other side of the bed.

"You had us scared, Rach! We thought our little panther friend was gone for good! By the way, you were so kick ass in battle!" The humor fell from Dani's face and for a moment, she looked as if she would cry, but in the last second she stiffened. "Thanks for saving my life, Rach. And Crystal's. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."

"Oh, well... you're welcome? I would probably mean that more if I actually remembered all of what happened." Rachel said.

"Your memory will come back in time. In a few days you will be able to recall everything that happened before the trauma. Your brain just needs a little while to recover." Scott gently brushed a stray tendril of hair away from Rachel's face. "I'm glad you're back." And with that, he turned and left the room. Rachel thought she saw him dab his eyes, but she wasn't positive. Her vision was another aspect that wasn't up to par.

"Ok, so I was a panther. Let's focus on that. And the battle. What actually happened?" And with that, Crystal and Dani both flew into a wild tale of army soldiers, laser guns and a giant panther that saved the day. It was like nothing had happened. They were still the same three girls... just with a few more scraps and scratches.


	16. Chapter 17

The room was dark and the fire waning as Scott slowly closed the door behind him. The air was thick with cigar smoke, the dingy cloud hanging just below the ceiling. Smelled like a Thompson Tacoma, and a hearty helping of whiskey. Just like Logan to drown his sorrows in tobacco and hard liquor. What little light the fire gave off illuminated a dark silhouette sitting in one very large wing back chair. Puff after puff of expensive gray smoke wafted from the shadowed man.  
"Logan."

"Scott."

"She is awake, you know."

"I know. I felt it."

"Felt it?" Scott studied the darkened figure with scrutiny. "How did you feel it?"

"Because, she's in here." Logan stood, walking toward Scott, with his hand on his heart. "Somehow we're connected. Don't ask me how. I don't have the patience for a game of twenty questions, ok?" With a final puff, the cigar withered away, leaving only a dark brown stub. Logan squashed it into the crystal ash tray and then clapped twice, and in sequence the lamps around the room flickered on. "What the hell are you here for anyway?"

"Rachel read your letter, Logan." Scott said.

Logan's eyes lit up for a moment and for the first time ever, Scott saw the true man behind the Wolverine. "She did? I figured she would toss it out."

"No, she read it."

"You don't sound too happy there, Scooter." The light in Logan's eyes faded, leaving a glossy stare, the result of too much whiskey. "Got a problem?"

"I don't want her hurt again, Logan. I care about her too. And I will be damned if I have to treat her for another three weeks..." And before Scott could draw a breath, he was slammed up against the door facing, one strong hand around his throat and a set of fiery eyes burning into his.

"I would NEVER hurt her, dammit! I love her and if you think your scrawny ass can stand between me and Rachel, you have another damn thing comin'. You may think I'm some sorta animal, but when I'm with Rachel, I'm a better man than you can ever hope to be." And with a sudden jerk, Scott fell to his feet, and Logan stalked away, standing to rest beside the bed. He had dreamed of taking Rachel to his bed, wrapping her in the burgundy comforter, sliding into her underneath the silk, cream sheets. He had spent the past few hours trying to figure out what to say. And when he came up with nothing, he thought of that bed, and how he just needed her to feel for him again. He needed her. God please, he needed her. "Just go away, Scooter. Stop trying to play the big man's game."

"You know Logan, I came here to help you, and all you do is insult me." Scott leaned a shoulder against the door that only moments ago found him a foot off the ground. "I may be young and I may not know as much as you do, but Logan, I know what love is. I had love. I had Jean's love and it made me a better man. I don't doubt for a second that you love Rachel, because the look in your eyes when I say her name, is the same damn look I use to get around Jean." Logan glanced up, shock resounding in his watery brown eyes. "That's right Logan, you love her. So why don't you show it? We might all see you as a man if you acted like one. Instead of hiding away like some animal, go see her, bring her flowers, tell her how you feel... and don't take no for an answer. That is what a man does. He fights for the woman he loves."  
Scott paused, a lump forming in his throat as familiar burning tears welled behind his crimson eyes. "I lost my opportunity. Do not lose yours." He turned and opened the door, stepping out into the hallway. "I have to go, I have papers to grade. Nice talking to you, Logan." The door closed on an echoing click.

A bright morning sun rose along the hills of Westchester, and at the top of the upper most hill, Xavier's School for the Gifted sat in quiet grandeur. The chilled winter breeze was brisk, the kind of breeze that makes you feel alive. And that is what Rachel felt, sitting out on her bench among the roses. Alive. Fresh and new and alive. Last night had been peaceful. She had stayed in the medical lab, per Scott's orders, and dreamed a dream so sweet it almost made her cry.

It was about Logan. He was in his room, pacing, worrying about her well-being. He practiced their conversation over and over again, each time chastising himself for some small mistake or back-handed comment. And what had really shocked her, was every time he stopped talking, she heard his thoughts. Thoughts of his love for her, thoughts of his bed and the burgundy coverlet. Cream silk sheets against her heated skin, and all he wanted to do was make her feel again. Make her safe. She had awoken with fresh tears and a strain in her chest that only Logan provoked. She still loved him, that much was true, but could she ever really trust his words, when his actions spoke so loudly?

A cold nose nudged at Rachel's leg, pulling her from the confines of her mind. Katie's fur was long, her winter coat built to keep her warm in the conditions of New York. The roses had long since hibernated, but Rachel could still trace a faint wisp of their longing scent. The same sweet smell she had found Logan in. Her heart longed for him. It sent out silent cries that he would come around the bend in the garden path. But the rest of her shivered in a chilling fear, because seeing Logan again could be disastrous, to both her mental and physical well-being.

"Oh Miss Kate, what am I going to do? I just wish I knew what he was doing right now... if he was ok, ya know? I still worry about the big lug, that's for sure." Kate walked up Rachel's chest, placing her little kitty paws directly on Rachel's heart. A flash of white light exploded in Rachel's mind, and then a picture came through. It was Logan. He was sitting in his room and the curtains were drawn. The air was stale, thick with the smell of Jack Daniels. And then, the vision was gone.

"No! God help him, please! I don't want him to be miserable... I just need time, space...things to think about and places to do it in." Even as she said the words, Rachel didn't believe them. She didn't need time to decide whether she loved Logan or not... she had loved him from the moment he had first walked into that rose garden. Rachel was afraid. Plain and simple. How many times could a girl stand for a broken heart? Logan had already shattered hers once... would she let him in again? She didn't know, but one thing was for sure, the love she had for him would not die just because they were apart. And that was definitely something to think about.

Across the lawns later that day, on the other side of the mansion, Logan confided in the darkness of his bedroom. Outside the sun was setting and each time he raised another bottle of Jack to his lips, bright rays caught the glass, like tiny lasers of light. Lasers... Rachel had seen those, up close and personal. He wished he hadn't left. What if she had died? What would Logan have done if Rachel had died because of him, because he left? Guilt bubbled in his throat like dark green bile eating away at his body and mind. She deserved better than some damn coward. Just another person to fail her in her life. Like her mother, like her father.

But deep down, Logan's heart strained against his chest, swelling enormously from the love he felt for her. How could he live with out her? But then again, she hadn't responded to his letter, and it had been at least two days, maybe more... the alcohol blurred Logan's sense of time so much that he didn't know what day it was anymore. All he knew was Rachel hadn't come back to him. And the pain he felt from that was enough to almost kill him, as invincible as he was.  
As the last bits of sun shimmered down behind the mountains, Logan stood, crossing to the window, with his trusty bottle of Jack in one hand, and Rachel's jacket in the other. He maybe couldn't have her, but that didn't mean he couldn't think about her, dream about her, wish for her until he was so tired he passed out. And what better place to drown his sorrows but the roof? As Logan climbed up the fire escape to the charcoal flat roof-top, Rachel's airy scent floated through his senses from the denim jacket. Damn. Damn it all to hell.


	17. Chapter 18

Hey, Peter!" Crystal called out from the leather couch in the common room. She, Dani and Scott had been sitting there, each reading one book or another, passing the time. It had been two days since Rachel had woken up, and no one knew just what to do with themselves. Crystal did know one thing... she desperately wanted everything back to the way it had been before the attack, including Rachel and Logan. What she wouldn't give to have those two back together! The couch sagged as Peter sat down beside Crystal, his hand instantly finding hers. "Thinking about Rachel and Logan again?" His smooth voice wrapped around her heart, and Crystal knew that if she hadn't been in the common room, she would have shed a tear, just for the tenderness of the moment.

"Yeah. I really want them to make up already! She misses him terribly." Crystal's voice fell trying to conceal her words from the rest of the group. "Please don't ever leave me, Peter. I don't know what I would do without you!"

"Maybe you would learn to whisper!" Dani giggled, tossing a pillow and hitting Crystal square in the face. Ha! Silly love bird! Maybe a pillow to the head would stop all the gooey, lovey talk for a few seconds, because Dani didn't know how much more of it she could take! Peter grabbed the pillow and hurled it back, missing Dani and smacking the side of Scott's head. Without so much a blink, Peter turned to Crystal, like nothing had happened. "You will never know what it is like to not have me around, I promise." His lips were warm as they shared a chaste kiss. And somewhere inside, Crystal knew he was telling the truth. They slowly moved apart as Peter wrapped her in his arms, finally turning to acknowledge Dani. "That was very rude, Dani!"

"Yeah, stuff it, Colossus!" What had meant to be a joke came out harsh and angry. Dani didn't know why, but she was royally pissed off! But before she could make another rude remark, a warm hand slid discreetly over her thigh, squeezing gently. And as Peter and Crystal involved themselves with each other, paying no attention to anyone, Scott leaned down and kissed Dani's temple.

"I know you are frustrated and tired, but do not take it out on your friends. If you need to vent your anger, I am always around." Scott released his hold on her slender thigh, turning his gaze back to the novel in his hands. He didn't know why he had kissed her. It had just seemed the right thing to do. She was angry and the first reaction Scott had was to soothe her... to kiss her. His brain was a swirling mass of question after question, but in his heart, Scott sighed in contentment. Dani really was something special.

"Scott?" Dani called quietly, so as not to interrupt the others in the common lounge. Scott's glasses were dark, but Dani could still see a vague outline of his deep red eyes... and they were beautiful. The book he was reading fell gently onto his thigh. A Tale of Two Cities. Dani had seen him read it many times, and always wondered why. Why did he continue to read the same book? She may never find out, but just sitting near him, sharing the same quiet space, was enough.

"Yes Dani?"

"Um... I was wondering... do you ever think you will find love again?" The sentence came out faster than Dani could control, like a whole mess of word vomit, spit out right onto Scott's jean-clad lap. Shit! She had to learn to control that outside voice!

"Where did that come from?" Scott's bewildered look would've made her laugh, had it not been for the extreme mistake she had just made.

"Well... you know I checked out this copy of A Streetcar Named Desire from the library and have been reading it... and its fantastic... and I just wondered... you know..." Dani swallowed hard against her heart that had lodged itself in her throat. "Do you think you will ever feel again the way Stanley feels for Stella?" She paused, watching Scott's face grow shady and dim. "If you don't want to answer that's ok... I'm sorry I even brought it up." Dani waved her hand in the air as if to dismiss what she had said, but before she could put it back down; Scott reached out and enfolded it into his own hand.

"Yes, Dani. Someday I think I might love again." Scott leaned closer on an impulse, the flair of attraction and interest he had been feeling for Dani suddenly coming to life. A part of him was shocked that it didn't hurt him more to want another woman... the other part of him was just happy to feel again. "Someday I will find my Stella. I just hope you will be around." Scott held her purple gaze for as long as he could stand, and then he grabbed his book and stood to retreat out of the common area.

"Wait, what do you mean by that? Be around for what!? Scott!!" But he was already gone. Damn that red-eyed hunk! He was going to be the death of her! But heck, what a way to go!

Rachel followed Katie as they headed back in for the night. She had spent all day out in the garden, thinking of Logan, and still she was as confused as ever! Wasn't nature supposed to bring clarity? Well, that was a load of donkey poo! It seemed that nothing had been working right for Rachel since she had woken up. Everything felt different and strange, like there was a part of her missing. 'That's silly' she thought, 'I have all of my normal, necessary pieces.' But even as her brain argued the logic, her heart knew what was wrong. She was missing Logan. And without him, everything was wrong in the world. As Rachel walked she longed to know what he was doing. Was he still in his room? Was he out... with someone else... a female someone else!?

Rachel's pulse quickened as she thought of Logan with another woman. His hands on her face, his lips on her lips... the mental images were so strong they had Rachel in a feverish rage within moments. And then it happened. Bright white light shot into her brain, a flash, and then she was seeing Logan. This time he was lying on the roof. A bottle of Jack in his right hand and the other underneath his head. His eyes were closed. His chest wasn't moving. And then it went black. Oh God!! No, he can't be dead! Wasn't he invincible? Super-man? Rachel didn't think he was that easy to kill!

Then again, endless amounts of whiskey could seriously hurt a man... but not kill him! Not a man like Logan! And then her feet stopped as she came to the conclusion that ripped at her heart. He had taken pills. He killed himself. And it was all her fault. Tears streamed from her eyes as she stood all alone in the hall way. And as she sniffed at the air, catching his intoxicating scent 

and forcing her feet to move towards it, Rachel died on the inside. The halls were a blur as she purposefully marched towards the roof entrance above the wing where Logan lived. It only took a few minutes to find the entrance door and climb up the stairs, but it felt like forever. And when she walked out onto the roof, her heart stopped at the sight of the most beautiful man she had ever seen... sitting up and smoking a cigar.

"Damn it, LOGAN!" Rachel screamed with all of her fury! How dare he be alive! He was suppose to be dead... she had seen him dead! Didn't she? Couldn't he just make up his mind?! "What are you doing up here? You scared me half to death you big jackass!"

"What the hell? I didn't do anything to you." He took another puff on the cigar, exhaling the smoke into the wind. "I'm drowning my sorrows. Now go away."

"NO! I saw you... in a vision... you were lying up here, and not breathing!"

"I was relaxing, not dieing. Now you know... so you can leave." Logan thought a moment, processing what she had just said. "A vision? You had a vision?"

"Yes. I... I think we are connected... psychically."

"I already know that. I felt it when you woke up. Xavier said it could have been something we did... an intimate action of sorts." Logan said, his heart beating faster than it had in days. The blood rushed to every part of his body, making him feel alive and whole.

"So you're saying that when we..."

"Had sex... yeah."

"That wasn't just sex, Logan. I felt something... so did you? And we psychically connected. I think that constitutes more than just sex."

"How would you know...?" Logan's chest felt heavy as the words formed on his lips. He knew what he said next would hurt her, but there was a heavily intoxicated part of him that didn't give a shit. "You're just a kid."

Rachel's face fell, and out the corner of his eye, Logan could see fresh tears clinging to her beautiful green eyes. "You... you... monster!" The word hit him like a ton of bricks, the anger that had been brewing just below the surface bubbling to life, and as she turned to leave, he grabbed her arm, jerking her around to face him. But what Logan didn't expect was her open palm to land directly on the side of his face. She slapped him.

"You're going to wish you hadn't done that." Logan crossed this arms and the _shink_ of his claws resounded on the night air.

"Oh please, Logan. Save the show for someone without their own pair." With another echoing _shink_, a set of shorter, golden claws escaped from Rachel's knuckles. Logan's normally distant 

brown eyes were alive with fire and passion. Finally he felt like the man he was before the attack. The man that Rachel had brought out in him.

"So you ready to go, Lynx? You wanna fight me?"

"Oh, big bad Wolverine... can't take a little competition?"

"Oh no, I can take you any time, kid." His grin was wide and wicked, telling Rachel just how many ways he knew how to take a woman.

"Do not call me kid!" She screamed, lunging forward at him. Logan darted to the right, just barley missing one of Rachel's claws. She recovered and roundhouse kicked, catching Logan directly in the kidneys. To any other man, that would have been a fatal blow, but not to Logan. He caught her foot on its way back down to the roof and used her momentum to swing her around his body, throwing her into the enormous brick chimney with a thud. The brick splintered, but Rachel didn't feel a thing. Her anger was numbing her body to the point where nothing hurt but her emotional pain.

"Why did you leave Logan?" She yelled, slashing her claws across his chest, the wounds she made healing almost instantly.

"Because you deserve better, damn it!" He grunted back as he blocked another slash, countering with a low kick to her shins. "I didn't want to hurt you, like I knew I inevitably would."

"Well you ended up hurting me anyway, Logan. Why can't you let me decided what I want for myself? Why do you always have to be so pig-headed!?" And with a roll from her feet to her knees, Rachel shot forward, knocking Logan off his feet and onto his back... and throwing both of them off the side of the building. The two bodies fell with such force that it shook the grounds, causing all the windows surrounding the courtyard where they had landed to shatter.

"What in the hell was that?" Peter said, shooting up from the couch with Crystal attached to his side. The entire common room was in scrambles from the intensity of the mystery blast. People flocked to the windows to catch a glimpse of whatever it was that caused the shock wave.

"Oh my God, Peter, look!" Crystal shouted, pointing to the nearest window.

"Shit, that does not look good." Dani cursed, as she came to stand on Peter's other side. When Peter finally looked out the window, what he saw left him speechless. It was Rachel and Logan. And they were in full out combat. And from the looks of their shredded clothes, it wasn't a training session.

Rachel jumped off the ground, spinning into a high kick that knocked Logan to his back, twenty yards away. But he was off the grass in an instant, charging straight for her. With effortless ease, Rachel again sprung off the ground, this time allowing Logan to run right underneath her. He cursed and spun around, claws out, slashing Rachel's right arm from shoulder to elbow. The gashes were deep and bled profusely, but immediately her mutation kicked in, closing the 

wounds and leaving only intense amounts of blood. Teachers and students flooded out the doors, but neither Rachel nor Logan noticed. Rachel sliced her right claws through his shoulder, then spun down the dig them into his foot, and shot up to connect a full fisted punch to his chin.

Logan roared, and buried his claws in her thigh, then picked her up and threw her down to the ground. With a triumphant smile, Logan pinned her underneath his weight, his heavy legs on top of hers, his hands capturing hers above her head. And without a moments notice, he fell forward, crushing his lips to hers. All of Rachel's anger and frustration melted away as she moaned against his lips. The kiss was hard, fueled by the adrenaline from the fight. Logan forced his tongue into her mouth, exploring every corner of her. It had been so long since he tasted Rachel's sweet mouth, heard her moan, that he instantly went rock hard. And when Rachel bit down on his bottom lip, Logan jerked away, the overwhelming lust becoming too much to handle. Logan tried to swallow, but a lump had formed in his throat as quiet tears welled in his eyes. He loved her, and there was no trying to deny it any longer.

"Logan, I..."

"Shh. Let me say something first, ok?" He said, stroking her cheek with unrestrained tenderness. "I'm sorry, Rachel. You are not a kid. You are a courageous, beautiful woman. And you were right, it wasn't just sex. It was something that I can't even begin to describe. When I see that look of total ecstasy on your face, and her you moan my name, my heart swells so much it almost jumps out of my chest. You are sexy as hell, and smart and funny... and I love you."

Rachel's heart stopped beating. Hearing those words come from Logan's mouth shocked her beyond belief. Yes, he had written it in the letter, but those were just words. Hearing it from his own mouth, his own adorable lips, made it all seem real.

"I know that I probably don't deserve you, but if you will have me, I want to be yours, forever. I want to wake up beside you each morning and fall asleep in your arms each night. You are my light, Rachel, my salvation. And I couldn't think of my life without you any longer."

Rachel leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his tender lips. One side was bruised, but she didn't care. He was Logan, and no number of scrapes or bruises could change that, not even the emotional kind. When she pulled away, Rachel wiped a tear from his cheek, and her chest tightened so much she didn't know if she could breathe. But by damn it, it didn't matter, because she had something she had wanted to say from the moment she met him in the garden among the roses. "I love you too, Logan." And as Logan leaned forward, resting his forehead on hers and staring deep into those green eyes that mesmerized him, he heard a faint clap. And then another. And another. And another until there was so many that Logan couldn't hear himself think. It finally dawned on him, after a moment or so, that they were completely surrounded by people. Everyone from the school had turned out to watch their little show.

"Oh, damn... that's embarrassing." Rachel moaned as Logan got off of her and grabbed her hand, pulling her up to his side.

"Yeah, I bet it is!" A familiar voice called from behind them. Rachel spun around to see Crystal, Peter, Dani and Scott, all clapping and smiling. "Congratulations!" Crystal said, hugging Rachel.

"Hell, it's about damn time!" Dani said, stepping forward to join the hug.

"Way to go, Professor." Peter said as he gave Logan a hearty handshake. And then Logan was left alone, facing Scott.

"So, Scooter... you happy too?" He said with a chuckle. But Scott didn't crack a smile.

"Actually Logan, yes, I am." Scott said in a deeply serious voice, grabbing Logan's hand in a fierce handshake. And just as he was about to walk away, Scott leaned in right next to Logan's ear, his voice just above a whisper. "You hurt her and I will have to kill you, you know that right?"

"I will never hurt her again, Scott. I promise you that." The two men separated, their eyes meeting for the briefest moment before Scott turned and walked away. They understood each other for the first time in four years. Life was just starting, and Logan couldn't wait to see where it headed next.


	18. Chapter 19

Epilogue

A faint light filtered in from the window, bathing the bed and sheets in pure sunlight. The room was chilly, so Logan pulled Rachel closer to his chest, reveling in the heat from her body. He brushed her hair away from her neck and placed a gentle kiss on the soft, creamy skin. As he moved to her higher, he sighed, letting his hot breath caress her ear. And as if on cue, she stirred, moaning slightly as she turned to face him.

"Good morning, sweetheart. Sleep well?" Logan asked, playfully kissing the tip of her nose.

"Of course." Rachel stretched languidly like a cat, rubbing Logan in all the right places. "And before I fell asleep wasn't too bad either!"

"Ok you two! Enough smoochies! We are coming in!" Crystal shouted as she, Dani and Peter entered the dorm room. "So, enjoy last night did we?"

"Oh you know they did, Crystal... we could hear them all the way down the hall!" Dani said with a whoop of laughter. "Oh Logan! Oh God, that feels so good! Oh!" She mocked. Rachel groaned, pulling the sheets up and over her head as Logan jumped up from the bed, pulling on his pants in the privacy that the new curtain in the middle of the room provided. That curtain had been his idea, and Rachel was more than willing to split the room into to sections with the massive black fabric, giving her and Logan a little corner of their own for when he felt like spending the night in her bed instead of his.

"Ooh! Look how cute he is when he's angry!" Crystal squealed as Logan threw the curtain aside, standing with his muscular arms crossed. Rachel let the sheets down and admired the view. His back was tan and broad at the shoulders, tapering down into that delicious butt and those gorgeous thighs. Last night she had bitten his thigh... was the mark still there? Probably not, but the memory made her smile.

"Look girls, just because you can't pull off an all-nighter, doesn't mean Rachel and I have to suffer. If you heard her scream, I take it as a compliment to my superior love-making abilities." He glanced over his shoulder at Rachel, who had started to giggle. "I would appreciate it if you backed me up. If not..." His glare turned wicked. "I might have to tell them just what else you were saying last night."

"He's phenomenal in bed. Case closed. Let's move on!" Rachel said in haste, and Logan's rich laughter made her smile. She loved him, and it was fantastic.

"So, where do you want the hot cocoa, Crys?"

"On the nightstand over there is find, Peter. Thanks, babe." Rachel got up and wrapped the sheet around her body as Peter began to pass out hot chocolate. Logan joined Rachel on the edge of the bed, slinging his arm around her waist in a protective gesture that, had it been from anyone else, Rachel would have hated. Since it was Logan, she just smiled. "So, time for gifts. Here Rachel, this is from Dani and me! Oh, and Miss Katie too!" Crystal handed Rachel as large box, wrapped 

in snowflake paper. Like a wild dog, Rachel began ripping the paper off and then tore the cardboard open. And inside was giant stuffed black panther, a painted glass lily, and a picture frame with a photo of the three of them, all smiling and huddled together. A lump lodged in Rachel's throat as her vision went all misty. It was the sweetest thing she had ever seen.

"Thank you so much, you guys! This is... really sweet." Rachel choked a bit, and instinctively Logan began to rub her back, giving her the strength to continue. "Well, I already gave you guys your gifts last night... and I'm sure Peter got his this morning, so is that all?"

"Is that all? You better be kidding!" Logan said in mock-anger. With one fluid motion, he reached down and pulled out a small, flat box, wrapped in red satin. "Here. You remember when I told you about seeing your mother's picture and reading the inscription?" Rachel nodded, prompting Logan to continue. "Well, this is from me... and in a way, from her as well."

Rachel carefully and gently peeled back the red satin and lifted the lid slowly, to keep whatever it was inside the box as safe as possible. A ray of light shot in through the window and caught an edge of the gift inside, and Rachel thought she might just die. Inside the box, on a neat velvet pillow, was a pure crystal 5-point star. She sat there, staring, in shock, tears falling from her eyes all on their own.

"Rachel... baby? Are you ok? Don't you like it?" Logan asked.

"Like it?" Rachel lifted her head to gaze into his eyes. She reached out her free hand and placed it on his cheek, relishing the feel of his morning stubble. "Of course I like it... God, Logan... I love it! Thank you so much! You have no idea what this means to me!" She threw her arms around him, squeezing him with every ounce of love she had.

"Well that isn't all." Logan said as he pulled away. "Look up." He smiled as she gasped. A small bundle of green foliage was dangling from the ceiling, tied with red ribbon.

"Mistletoe." Rachel looked back at Logan, who was beaming with pride. "This is perfect. Thank you so much." Logan's features turned serious as he leaned in to kiss her, but instead of landing on her lips, he ended up pecking her cheek because she turned her head at the last second. His eyes immediately met hers, the pain inside them making her heart ache. "No! Don't be sad! I want to kiss you, but I just thought I should give you my gift before we do it."

"You have given me your gift, Rachel. You are my gift. I don't need anything else."

"Oh stop being sappy and romantic and let her give it to you already! I'm DIEING over here!" Dani shouted making Crystal and Peter laugh.

"Yeah, Professor. It's a nice gift! I can't wait to see your reaction!" Peter exclaimed, pulling Crystal closer to him as he sipped on his cocoa.

"Ok, go ahead then."

"Close your eyes, Logan." Logan did as he was told and he felt the bed shift as she reached for whatever it was. Then, a moment later, he felt her slip something metal around his neck. "Ok, open and look down."

When Logan opened his eyes, glancing down, he saw a pair of dog tags resting in Rachel's palm. "Dog tags?"

"Read the inscription." She said. He scanned the bright metal and as he read, his heart melted. On one tag it said 'Logan' and on the other, it said 'My soul mate, friend, and hero. Love, Rachel'.

"I thought you would like a pair that identified the man you really are." She placed her hands on either side of his face, pulling his head up, meeting his eyes. "You are no longer just Wolverine. You're Logan. My Logan. The man I love. Do not ever forget that again."

"I love you." And as he kissed the woman of his dreams, Logan could have sworn he heard the faint sound of jingle bells in the distant. "Merry Christmas, Rachel."

"Merry Christmas, Logan."

_It was the best of times..._

_It was the worst of times._

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